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My position with easy child 2 - is it wrong?
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 327360" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Apparently they go to the same school with all the same lousy teachers, daisy. lol That's funny.</p><p> </p><p>I feel a bit bad about this position, but the girl has absolutely nothing invested in herself in this process. Nothing. She doesn't even have a grandiose plan for stardom and fame when she's grown. I truly don't think the child has any recognition AT ALL that she will ever have to take care of herself. None. And I can't see where any mental deficits are at play here. Yeah, she's ADD, but its mild. She's got some learning problems that I have attempted to address, have had some knock-down drag-outs with her mom over them, etc. Got her into tutoring and counseling, etc. The tutor is her special reading teacher at school. She's great with her and easy child likes her. She's willing to work on any subject, but easy child will lie to her, too. I know its hard for easy child, but i've done all i can, and she continues to do her damnedest to do NOTHING, and try as I might to see some deficit or some reason or some "excuse" for her behavior, I can't. She's been raised this way. No one but me questions her stories. No one holds her accountable for her actions. No one makes her step up and be responsible - she throws her clothes all over the place and grandma goes to her house and picks them up and washes them. If she runs out of clothes (she loses them or crams them in her closet, etc), grandma goes and buys more. Heck, her grandma still reads the lunch menu every day and will magically show up at school with a lunch from home if its something on the menu easy child doesn't like...easy child not only doesn't have to pack her lunch, she doesn't even have to look at the menu and decide if its something she likes or not. So why should she do school work that's hard and she doesn't like.</p><p> </p><p>Sure, I can keep going and can probably keep her grades passable for the next couple of years. Maybe thru high school. But then what? I don't mind helping, but at this point, if I have to wade thru 4 different stories every time I ask a question, and I put things in place to help that she avoids using, what am I doing beyond just being another enabler?</p><p> </p><p>I mean, she stood there last night and readily abmitted that she used her own dad (also there) as a scapegoat, and when I suggested she needed to apologize for blaming him for something he didn't do....nothing. Five hours later, husband demanded she apologize. She did, but it was pretty half-donkey. He accepted it, but I wouldn't have.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 327360, member: 1848"] Apparently they go to the same school with all the same lousy teachers, daisy. lol That's funny. I feel a bit bad about this position, but the girl has absolutely nothing invested in herself in this process. Nothing. She doesn't even have a grandiose plan for stardom and fame when she's grown. I truly don't think the child has any recognition AT ALL that she will ever have to take care of herself. None. And I can't see where any mental deficits are at play here. Yeah, she's ADD, but its mild. She's got some learning problems that I have attempted to address, have had some knock-down drag-outs with her mom over them, etc. Got her into tutoring and counseling, etc. The tutor is her special reading teacher at school. She's great with her and easy child likes her. She's willing to work on any subject, but easy child will lie to her, too. I know its hard for easy child, but i've done all i can, and she continues to do her damnedest to do NOTHING, and try as I might to see some deficit or some reason or some "excuse" for her behavior, I can't. She's been raised this way. No one but me questions her stories. No one holds her accountable for her actions. No one makes her step up and be responsible - she throws her clothes all over the place and grandma goes to her house and picks them up and washes them. If she runs out of clothes (she loses them or crams them in her closet, etc), grandma goes and buys more. Heck, her grandma still reads the lunch menu every day and will magically show up at school with a lunch from home if its something on the menu easy child doesn't like...easy child not only doesn't have to pack her lunch, she doesn't even have to look at the menu and decide if its something she likes or not. So why should she do school work that's hard and she doesn't like. Sure, I can keep going and can probably keep her grades passable for the next couple of years. Maybe thru high school. But then what? I don't mind helping, but at this point, if I have to wade thru 4 different stories every time I ask a question, and I put things in place to help that she avoids using, what am I doing beyond just being another enabler? I mean, she stood there last night and readily abmitted that she used her own dad (also there) as a scapegoat, and when I suggested she needed to apologize for blaming him for something he didn't do....nothing. Five hours later, husband demanded she apologize. She did, but it was pretty half-donkey. He accepted it, but I wouldn't have. [/QUOTE]
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My position with easy child 2 - is it wrong?
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