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my rant about the TSS worker
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 320186" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Unconditional love really helps. Unconditional praise too, even when you're itching to make a lesson out of it- trust me, over time the connection will happen. Often with the really bright kids, those connections are made TOO fast.</p><p>Example - we go to the beach. Sometimes I go to the shop afterwards to buy milk (don't buy it before the beach or the milk will curdle in the hot car). ONE day, difficult child 3 asked for an ice cream and although I mostly say no, once I said yes. </p><p>Next time and every time after that I go to the shop after the beach - difficult child 3 expects an ice cream. </p><p>Every. Flamin'. Time.</p><p></p><p>Your son sounds like he had some speech problems, but language problems are different. A childwe know was developing normally until a near-drowning accident which left him with cerebral palsy. He lost all speech. He also lost his English (he was bilningual, Spanish/English). As he recovered he began to regain his English skills but doctors assessing him in hospital hadn't realised that he was bilingual, they were asking him to do things in English and his failure to respond, they saw as a sign of severe intellectual damage. In fact, he is fine intellectually.</p><p>He still isn't speaking, but is fluent on a computer. He's still bilingual.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 was developing at the same time. In a lot of ways he was more unresponsive than this recovering child. YOu could talk to this child and he would make good eye contact and try to follow your instructions. He would laugh at jokes or a funny face pulled. But difficult child 3 was not as responsive.</p><p></p><p>When it comes to analysing text for school (a comprehension exercise, for example) difficult child 3 would look for key words to help guide him to the answer. All kids do, but as they get older and these exercises beome more challenging and more subtle, key word searches don't help.</p><p></p><p>What the child needs now, is one-to-one coaching in finding the hidden meaning. Don't let anyone treat him like a dummy, make it clear to him that it's not his fault.</p><p></p><p>I hate to blow my own trumpet here, but the best example I can give you is difficult child 3 and his interview. The story was about autism research from an Aussie perspective, but also giving some idea of autism. difficult child 3 was the only high-functioning autistic personally interviewed. They asked him some very curly questions and his answers were from himself, nothing I had ever told him. Although I have gone to lengths to make sure my kids don't see their autism as a defect or a bad thing.</p><p></p><p>I've posted elsewhere about the interview - there is a link to that story online.</p><p>OK, I dug it out</p><p><a href="http://au.tv.yahoo.com/sunday-night/video/" target="_blank">http://au.tv.yahoo.com/sunday-night/video/</a></p><p>and look for "autism solution". I just spotted a link to transcripts, I hadn't seen that before. </p><p></p><p>I wasn't able to explain to difficult child 3 about his autism when he was diangosed, because his language skills were too poor. He was 8 when I was able to finally instruct him. The school set up a Sixth Sense program (which was brilliant). But meanwhile, I had explained it to difficult child 3 in computer terminology (since he has been using computers since infancy). </p><p>I explained to difficult child 3 that if we show someone a printout of a text file, we simply can't tell if the document was written on a Mac or on a easy child. But the computer language and instructions to the computer to actually do the task, will be very different depending on whether you used a Mac or a easy child. And some people have mac brains while oters have easy child brains. No computer type is necessarily better than another, they do different tasks better perhaps but overall, they are all very useful computers. Macs may be the computer of choice for publishers and graphics people while PCs are great for business. Both computer types can do the oter tasks too, however.</p><p></p><p>In the same way, people are all different and have different skills. The challenge in someone with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in any form (I include asperger's and Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified as well as autism) is to find the way that THAT person's brain especially learns best with.</p><p></p><p>I was very pleased with difficult child 3's answer to "How do you feel about being autistic?" He described something he feels he can do, that other people can't.</p><p></p><p>Similarly, Temple Grandin has said that if she were told that she could wake up tomorrow and no longer have autism, she wouldn't want it. She values the gifts it has given her and will winllnigly put up with the problems.</p><p></p><p>We have some very distinctive moments in our family, because of the autism. difficult child 3 had some very unusual ways of expressing himself - as a young child he had the car window down but closed it as the car began to speed up. He said, "The wind is poking my eyes."</p><p></p><p>Or the time both boys were watching our new front-loader washing machine. They were stting on the floor in the laundry, eyes locked onto the window in the washing machine, heads tilting this way and that, over and over. difficult child 1 said, without changing position or stopping, "I don't know why but I find this strangely compelling."</p><p></p><p>OK, it's not normal, but it;s our life. You can't (and shouldn't) try to turn an autistic person into a normal person, but you can equip them to live in a normal world, and to adapt. But inside - they will always be autistic, always be who they were born to be. They need to know we love them as they are. It makes it easier for them to be who we want them to be.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 320186, member: 1991"] Unconditional love really helps. Unconditional praise too, even when you're itching to make a lesson out of it- trust me, over time the connection will happen. Often with the really bright kids, those connections are made TOO fast. Example - we go to the beach. Sometimes I go to the shop afterwards to buy milk (don't buy it before the beach or the milk will curdle in the hot car). ONE day, difficult child 3 asked for an ice cream and although I mostly say no, once I said yes. Next time and every time after that I go to the shop after the beach - difficult child 3 expects an ice cream. Every. Flamin'. Time. Your son sounds like he had some speech problems, but language problems are different. A childwe know was developing normally until a near-drowning accident which left him with cerebral palsy. He lost all speech. He also lost his English (he was bilningual, Spanish/English). As he recovered he began to regain his English skills but doctors assessing him in hospital hadn't realised that he was bilingual, they were asking him to do things in English and his failure to respond, they saw as a sign of severe intellectual damage. In fact, he is fine intellectually. He still isn't speaking, but is fluent on a computer. He's still bilingual. difficult child 3 was developing at the same time. In a lot of ways he was more unresponsive than this recovering child. YOu could talk to this child and he would make good eye contact and try to follow your instructions. He would laugh at jokes or a funny face pulled. But difficult child 3 was not as responsive. When it comes to analysing text for school (a comprehension exercise, for example) difficult child 3 would look for key words to help guide him to the answer. All kids do, but as they get older and these exercises beome more challenging and more subtle, key word searches don't help. What the child needs now, is one-to-one coaching in finding the hidden meaning. Don't let anyone treat him like a dummy, make it clear to him that it's not his fault. I hate to blow my own trumpet here, but the best example I can give you is difficult child 3 and his interview. The story was about autism research from an Aussie perspective, but also giving some idea of autism. difficult child 3 was the only high-functioning autistic personally interviewed. They asked him some very curly questions and his answers were from himself, nothing I had ever told him. Although I have gone to lengths to make sure my kids don't see their autism as a defect or a bad thing. I've posted elsewhere about the interview - there is a link to that story online. OK, I dug it out [url]http://au.tv.yahoo.com/sunday-night/video/[/url] and look for "autism solution". I just spotted a link to transcripts, I hadn't seen that before. I wasn't able to explain to difficult child 3 about his autism when he was diangosed, because his language skills were too poor. He was 8 when I was able to finally instruct him. The school set up a Sixth Sense program (which was brilliant). But meanwhile, I had explained it to difficult child 3 in computer terminology (since he has been using computers since infancy). I explained to difficult child 3 that if we show someone a printout of a text file, we simply can't tell if the document was written on a Mac or on a easy child. But the computer language and instructions to the computer to actually do the task, will be very different depending on whether you used a Mac or a easy child. And some people have mac brains while oters have easy child brains. No computer type is necessarily better than another, they do different tasks better perhaps but overall, they are all very useful computers. Macs may be the computer of choice for publishers and graphics people while PCs are great for business. Both computer types can do the oter tasks too, however. In the same way, people are all different and have different skills. The challenge in someone with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in any form (I include asperger's and Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified as well as autism) is to find the way that THAT person's brain especially learns best with. I was very pleased with difficult child 3's answer to "How do you feel about being autistic?" He described something he feels he can do, that other people can't. Similarly, Temple Grandin has said that if she were told that she could wake up tomorrow and no longer have autism, she wouldn't want it. She values the gifts it has given her and will winllnigly put up with the problems. We have some very distinctive moments in our family, because of the autism. difficult child 3 had some very unusual ways of expressing himself - as a young child he had the car window down but closed it as the car began to speed up. He said, "The wind is poking my eyes." Or the time both boys were watching our new front-loader washing machine. They were stting on the floor in the laundry, eyes locked onto the window in the washing machine, heads tilting this way and that, over and over. difficult child 1 said, without changing position or stopping, "I don't know why but I find this strangely compelling." OK, it's not normal, but it;s our life. You can't (and shouldn't) try to turn an autistic person into a normal person, but you can equip them to live in a normal world, and to adapt. But inside - they will always be autistic, always be who they were born to be. They need to know we love them as they are. It makes it easier for them to be who we want them to be. Marg [/QUOTE]
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