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Substance Abuse
My son in boarding school and working hard
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<blockquote data-quote="dadside" data-source="post: 252037" data-attributes="member: 5707"><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Dr. Phil is right in advising against any program where you aren't allowed to go for many months without being able to visit your child. You shouldn't have to go more than perhaps 2 - 3 weeks before talking with him/her either. The 2 - 3 weeks is to get the child to accept where they are without going on endlessly about how they have "learned their lesson" and have "changed" and "promising to be good' -- if you'll only bring them home now. But I know of no good reason why you shouldn't be able to visit your child within a couple of months, and that long for much the same reason as limiting early telephone contact.</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">There are excellent therapeutic schools (residential ones are sometimes called TBS, Residential Treatment Center (RTC), EGBS) with programs ranging from about 9 months to the 18 month range. (A few are longer.) One excellent school - therapeutically more intensive than many - said it took about 6 months for them to get across their program, and another 2 - 3 to make sure it (the program) "took" with the student. The owners of that school have another excellent place that has a longer program - serving students with different personalities and issues, so there is no single answer to how long. Still, most places workiing with "typical" students do a good job in 14-18 months or less.</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Toreapartwomanoftwo, your son may seem to be "back", but new patterns aren't well enough established to hold, especially if he came back to the same connumity environment. As susiestar noted, he should be able to do college courses (correspondance or online) once he finishes high school diploma requirements, so he doesn't need to leave the program to continue his education. I would look further into what it is about the school that has them still prohibiting parent visits. Maybe a different (perhaps "transitional") placement would be in order ... I really can't tell. But only two telephone calls and no visits in 6 months is just not right.</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Lucedaleblessed, don't expect that a 3-week wilderness experience, however good, will be enough if your daughter's problem behaviors were well established - as they commonly are when such placements are considered. I do know of one organization that had foreign programs closed, and can find numerous charges about many of their domestic ones as well. But that doesn't mean most programs are bad. In fact, the opposite is true. But, there needs to be a "fit" between student and program. One size does not fit all!</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px">Seldom will any program be enough. Often changes are needed at home, and parent seminars etc are usually provided by the therapeutic schools. And there need to be student-specific follow-up supports for them after any program. Students graduating the programs do not automatically revert to their old ways, but they do need support to maintain their restored better course in life.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 10px"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dadside, post: 252037, member: 5707"] [SIZE=2]Dr. Phil is right in advising against any program where you aren't allowed to go for many months without being able to visit your child. You shouldn't have to go more than perhaps 2 - 3 weeks before talking with him/her either. The 2 - 3 weeks is to get the child to accept where they are without going on endlessly about how they have "learned their lesson" and have "changed" and "promising to be good' -- if you'll only bring them home now. But I know of no good reason why you shouldn't be able to visit your child within a couple of months, and that long for much the same reason as limiting early telephone contact. There are excellent therapeutic schools (residential ones are sometimes called TBS, Residential Treatment Center (RTC), EGBS) with programs ranging from about 9 months to the 18 month range. (A few are longer.) One excellent school - therapeutically more intensive than many - said it took about 6 months for them to get across their program, and another 2 - 3 to make sure it (the program) "took" with the student. The owners of that school have another excellent place that has a longer program - serving students with different personalities and issues, so there is no single answer to how long. Still, most places workiing with "typical" students do a good job in 14-18 months or less. Toreapartwomanoftwo, your son may seem to be "back", but new patterns aren't well enough established to hold, especially if he came back to the same connumity environment. As susiestar noted, he should be able to do college courses (correspondance or online) once he finishes high school diploma requirements, so he doesn't need to leave the program to continue his education. I would look further into what it is about the school that has them still prohibiting parent visits. Maybe a different (perhaps "transitional") placement would be in order ... I really can't tell. But only two telephone calls and no visits in 6 months is just not right. Lucedaleblessed, don't expect that a 3-week wilderness experience, however good, will be enough if your daughter's problem behaviors were well established - as they commonly are when such placements are considered. I do know of one organization that had foreign programs closed, and can find numerous charges about many of their domestic ones as well. But that doesn't mean most programs are bad. In fact, the opposite is true. But, there needs to be a "fit" between student and program. One size does not fit all! Seldom will any program be enough. Often changes are needed at home, and parent seminars etc are usually provided by the therapeutic schools. And there need to be student-specific follow-up supports for them after any program. Students graduating the programs do not automatically revert to their old ways, but they do need support to maintain their restored better course in life. [/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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