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General Parenting
My son is not getting it!
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 489357" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Classical flag for insecure attachment.</p><p>This doesn't always work - but the only thing we've found that DOES work is to make relationship-building THE absolute number-one priority. Its counter-intuitive, takes tons of time, effort, money and creativity. But you're not going to get through to him, until he TRUSTS you.</p><p>There can be all sorts of reasons for a kid to become somewhat detached... this is NOT the classical Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) of a kid who had multiple primary caregivers and inconsistent care as a baby/toddler. Rather... even when appropriately attached as a small child, experiences in life can break that attachment - for example, undiagnosed problems mean that the situation at school is hopeless, and parent's cannot do anything about it... child gives up trusting and asking for help. Its now "me against the world", and typically, they are out for whatever they can get before they crash and burn.</p><p>Its ugly. Its a tough road.</p><p>But yours is young enough that there's still hope.</p><p>(its much harder at 18)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 489357, member: 11791"] Classical flag for insecure attachment. This doesn't always work - but the only thing we've found that DOES work is to make relationship-building THE absolute number-one priority. Its counter-intuitive, takes tons of time, effort, money and creativity. But you're not going to get through to him, until he TRUSTS you. There can be all sorts of reasons for a kid to become somewhat detached... this is NOT the classical Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) of a kid who had multiple primary caregivers and inconsistent care as a baby/toddler. Rather... even when appropriately attached as a small child, experiences in life can break that attachment - for example, undiagnosed problems mean that the situation at school is hopeless, and parent's cannot do anything about it... child gives up trusting and asking for help. Its now "me against the world", and typically, they are out for whatever they can get before they crash and burn. Its ugly. Its a tough road. But yours is young enough that there's still hope. (its much harder at 18) [/QUOTE]
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My son is not getting it!
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