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Parent Emeritus
My son is out. Again.
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<blockquote data-quote="SeekingStrength" data-source="post: 704037" data-attributes="member: 17635"><p>Copa,</p><p></p><p>I am sorry. This is just so difficult.</p><p></p><p>It seems to me you have not turned your back on your son. You and M set up conditions and he did not abide by them. His choice.</p><p></p><p>My son has used the exact phrase you mentioned, <em>Have a nice life.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>Seems to me the guilt we choose to feel, the hurt we allow to be inflicted, all of it - just muddles up the basic, sensible part. You want your son better. You set up guidelines. He chooses a life outside those. He lives with the consequences. His choices.</p><p></p><p>It's funny (not as in HAHA funny), but my brain did some strange wanderings today and I was picturing my Difficult Child, his dad and me on Dr. Phil. (We would never, in a zillion years, appear on Dr. Phil). But, I can just see DP talking about how my son is acting out of severe pain. He would outline on his SmartBoard how husband and I have messed up time and time again and ignored Difficult Child's cries for help and have done everything wrong.</p><p></p><p>It is a totally made up scenario. I know better. But, one's mind can wonder/wander...and take one away from the basic, sensible part. The part that this forum does so much to help us keep front & center.</p><p></p><p>You and M had every right to set those parameters. And, all our wanting in the world cannot make our offspring live within them. </p><p></p><p>My Difficult Child certainly holds his dad and me responsible for almost all of his poor decisions. The ones that our not our fault, are the fault of other friends, girlfriend's, etc.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekingStrength, post: 704037, member: 17635"] Copa, I am sorry. This is just so difficult. It seems to me you have not turned your back on your son. You and M set up conditions and he did not abide by them. His choice. My son has used the exact phrase you mentioned, [I]Have a nice life. [/I] Seems to me the guilt we choose to feel, the hurt we allow to be inflicted, all of it - just muddles up the basic, sensible part. You want your son better. You set up guidelines. He chooses a life outside those. He lives with the consequences. His choices. It's funny (not as in HAHA funny), but my brain did some strange wanderings today and I was picturing my Difficult Child, his dad and me on Dr. Phil. (We would never, in a zillion years, appear on Dr. Phil). But, I can just see DP talking about how my son is acting out of severe pain. He would outline on his SmartBoard how husband and I have messed up time and time again and ignored Difficult Child's cries for help and have done everything wrong. It is a totally made up scenario. I know better. But, one's mind can wonder/wander...and take one away from the basic, sensible part. The part that this forum does so much to help us keep front & center. You and M had every right to set those parameters. And, all our wanting in the world cannot make our offspring live within them. My Difficult Child certainly holds his dad and me responsible for almost all of his poor decisions. The ones that our not our fault, are the fault of other friends, girlfriend's, etc. [/QUOTE]
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