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Parent Emeritus
My son is out. Again.
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 704151" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>This is me. This is me exactly. I could have written a lot of this post, but this ↑ is me. We want them to grow up! To be responsible, functioning members of society. To hold jobs and pay their bills and taxes. Maybe even to help their fellow man...but I'd settle for mine helping himself. </p><p></p><p>And you can't do it. You can't MAKE someone be responsible, productive and have a "typical" - or at least acceptable - life. But I want it with ALL my heart. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I've said before that I think having a kid live with you - regardless of age - makes it very hard, even virtually impossible, to stay out of the mother/child relationship. When they live with you, you expect them to be grown-ups. To work and be polite and clean up after themselves - and when they don't, you end up "reminding" them...just like you did when they were 12. What grown-up wants to be nagged by their mother? So then there's resentment and finally an ending of the living arrangements. I don't think a "responsible" kid wants to be taken care of. So a responsible kid doesn't come home and if they did, they wouldn't be nagged because they do things right. We have irresponsible kids, who don't do things right and therefore get nagged, and it's a vicious circle. </p><p></p><p>Sorry, that became kind of stream of consciousness.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 704151, member: 17309"] This is me. This is me exactly. I could have written a lot of this post, but this ↑ is me. We want them to grow up! To be responsible, functioning members of society. To hold jobs and pay their bills and taxes. Maybe even to help their fellow man...but I'd settle for mine helping himself. And you can't do it. You can't MAKE someone be responsible, productive and have a "typical" - or at least acceptable - life. But I want it with ALL my heart. I've said before that I think having a kid live with you - regardless of age - makes it very hard, even virtually impossible, to stay out of the mother/child relationship. When they live with you, you expect them to be grown-ups. To work and be polite and clean up after themselves - and when they don't, you end up "reminding" them...just like you did when they were 12. What grown-up wants to be nagged by their mother? So then there's resentment and finally an ending of the living arrangements. I don't think a "responsible" kid wants to be taken care of. So a responsible kid doesn't come home and if they did, they wouldn't be nagged because they do things right. We have irresponsible kids, who don't do things right and therefore get nagged, and it's a vicious circle. Sorry, that became kind of stream of consciousness. [/QUOTE]
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My son is out. Again.
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