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General Parenting
My son is ruining my family and our lives
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<blockquote data-quote="FluffyOne" data-source="post: 756611" data-attributes="member: 25202"><p>It must be very difficult trying to co-parent considering the difficult divorce with the ex-wife. It was difficult for me and my husband and we were not divorced, and were pretty much on the same page in parenting. We adopted our daughter with her 3 siblings when she was 8-1/2 years old. She had experienced much trauma in her family of origin and in the orphanage she lived in for over 4 years. We tried everything to try to help her, but she wasn't interested in help. She preferred to live in her trauma and drag everyone else there to relive over and over again.</p><p>When she turned 18, we put her in Job Corps hoping that she would use that opportunity to turn her life around (it is literally her last chance before being on her own to get it together). She has instead, continued to make poor decisions and is due to graduate from the program in less than 6 months (she will be 20 this summer).</p><p>I wish I had more hope to give you concerning your son. Divorce is trauma for kids - even worse when the parents (or one parent) won't work in the child's best interest. Don't be too hard on yourself. None of us are perfect parents and we all have regrets and 'what if' thinking about what we could have done differently.</p><p>Your son could possibly turn himself around, but he will have to want to do it for himself - not because anyone else wants it for him. Be available to him, but protect your new marriage and younger children also. It is a very narrow line we are forced to walk when parenting in these situations. I'm so sorry you are in this situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="FluffyOne, post: 756611, member: 25202"] It must be very difficult trying to co-parent considering the difficult divorce with the ex-wife. It was difficult for me and my husband and we were not divorced, and were pretty much on the same page in parenting. We adopted our daughter with her 3 siblings when she was 8-1/2 years old. She had experienced much trauma in her family of origin and in the orphanage she lived in for over 4 years. We tried everything to try to help her, but she wasn't interested in help. She preferred to live in her trauma and drag everyone else there to relive over and over again. When she turned 18, we put her in Job Corps hoping that she would use that opportunity to turn her life around (it is literally her last chance before being on her own to get it together). She has instead, continued to make poor decisions and is due to graduate from the program in less than 6 months (she will be 20 this summer). I wish I had more hope to give you concerning your son. Divorce is trauma for kids - even worse when the parents (or one parent) won't work in the child's best interest. Don't be too hard on yourself. None of us are perfect parents and we all have regrets and 'what if' thinking about what we could have done differently. Your son could possibly turn himself around, but he will have to want to do it for himself - not because anyone else wants it for him. Be available to him, but protect your new marriage and younger children also. It is a very narrow line we are forced to walk when parenting in these situations. I'm so sorry you are in this situation. [/QUOTE]
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My son is ruining my family and our lives
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