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My son left. I asked him to.
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<blockquote data-quote="Ironbutterfly" data-source="post: 688385" data-attributes="member: 19951"><p>Copa- what COM said is so very true. If we help we enable. I just got off phone with son- yet another drama. He recently moved yet again. He called asking for 40.00 for rent. He is staying in one of those weekly pay motels. Of course, he put the fear into me, he will get kicked out if I don't help. I told him- I have to go and will talk to him later. He just paid his rent at the another place he has been staying at for a few months. This girl he knew called him and asked him to move to where she is- and he did. I know of course, she is using him for his SSI money he gets- but he is broke. Now he is calling me, fearful he will not make rent (help her in reality) and now it's my issue to worry about. I hate these calls. He could tell I was frustrated- he said Oh just forget it- I will go scam a church for the money. This is what I deal with. I send him clothes, shoes, food cards for Subway, McDonalds off and on. But here again- another call for a few bucks. I hate the position they put us in- if we don't help make us feel like crap- if we help, we enable the insanity of the cycle of not being able to resolve their own problems.</p><p></p><p>Like you said- he wants things on his terms. Sorry life is not that way. He has had his way too many times- it hasn't worked. At some point- it has to stop, and it will be painful for you and your son. But, if you keep giving him more and more chances, it will end up with it being on his terms again and again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ironbutterfly, post: 688385, member: 19951"] Copa- what COM said is so very true. If we help we enable. I just got off phone with son- yet another drama. He recently moved yet again. He called asking for 40.00 for rent. He is staying in one of those weekly pay motels. Of course, he put the fear into me, he will get kicked out if I don't help. I told him- I have to go and will talk to him later. He just paid his rent at the another place he has been staying at for a few months. This girl he knew called him and asked him to move to where she is- and he did. I know of course, she is using him for his SSI money he gets- but he is broke. Now he is calling me, fearful he will not make rent (help her in reality) and now it's my issue to worry about. I hate these calls. He could tell I was frustrated- he said Oh just forget it- I will go scam a church for the money. This is what I deal with. I send him clothes, shoes, food cards for Subway, McDonalds off and on. But here again- another call for a few bucks. I hate the position they put us in- if we don't help make us feel like crap- if we help, we enable the insanity of the cycle of not being able to resolve their own problems. Like you said- he wants things on his terms. Sorry life is not that way. He has had his way too many times- it hasn't worked. At some point- it has to stop, and it will be painful for you and your son. But, if you keep giving him more and more chances, it will end up with it being on his terms again and again. [/QUOTE]
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