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My son left. I asked him to.
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 688504" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Hi Copa.</p><p></p><p>I am relieved for you, the not knowing where they are is the worst. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Protect yourselves by remembering this-if any/all of what he said is a lie, would that certainly change your response? Sometimes we have had to work hard (snooping, checking up on) to verify in order to steel our response or at least make non-enabling choices. ie "I have no food" (your cupboards have food in them you could cook-just no hot pockets, McDonalds, $ for pizza delivery. OR "I'm living in my car" ( your car is parked at friend of a friend's mother's house where you are sleeping on their sofa-no you don't have your own room there) </p><p></p><p> All the doors but you....how many times we've said"You've got to figure this out, we may not be here tomorrow" to have our son reply "I know, I can take care of myself" THEN can YOU do this or that just 1 more time??</p><p></p><p></p><p>The question.</p><p> I know in our lives being aware that he is living and breathing but "just out there making his own way" is the most peace we get. Please no details, no drama. Do we miss him? Oh yes. Can we become entangled in his craziness again? No. I do really cling to the fact that it is disrespectful to him as an adult to keep helping. To reinforce to him as we have in the past, unfortunately at times, that he is not capable of figuring out his own life. Our son is limited in some areas. But, to live in society, he must follow certain rules, norms. He is capable of that but he chooses otherwise. I give in the grace of making his own choices. It's all I have left to give. </p><p>Our hearts are with you Copa. Prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 688504, member: 20054"] Hi Copa. I am relieved for you, the not knowing where they are is the worst. Protect yourselves by remembering this-if any/all of what he said is a lie, would that certainly change your response? Sometimes we have had to work hard (snooping, checking up on) to verify in order to steel our response or at least make non-enabling choices. ie "I have no food" (your cupboards have food in them you could cook-just no hot pockets, McDonalds, $ for pizza delivery. OR "I'm living in my car" ( your car is parked at friend of a friend's mother's house where you are sleeping on their sofa-no you don't have your own room there) All the doors but you....how many times we've said"You've got to figure this out, we may not be here tomorrow" to have our son reply "I know, I can take care of myself" THEN can YOU do this or that just 1 more time?? The question. I know in our lives being aware that he is living and breathing but "just out there making his own way" is the most peace we get. Please no details, no drama. Do we miss him? Oh yes. Can we become entangled in his craziness again? No. I do really cling to the fact that it is disrespectful to him as an adult to keep helping. To reinforce to him as we have in the past, unfortunately at times, that he is not capable of figuring out his own life. Our son is limited in some areas. But, to live in society, he must follow certain rules, norms. He is capable of that but he chooses otherwise. I give in the grace of making his own choices. It's all I have left to give. Our hearts are with you Copa. Prayers. [/QUOTE]
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