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My son left. I asked him to.
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<blockquote data-quote="DarkwingPsyduck" data-source="post: 688525" data-attributes="member: 20267"><p>There is a fine line between support, and enabling, but that line DOES exist. It is a tight rope walk. Think about it this way; if your child was NOT a drug addict, and was doing everything generally the right way, you would offer them all the support you possibly could to help them along even further, right? Now, imagine that child developed a serious drug addiction, and has steadily pissed all of that away. What do you think his prospects are of improvement if he has NOTHING to improve for? I mean, he lost everything else. And yes, they were his decisions, but they weren't decisions made in the right mind. As difficult as this is to understand for non addicts, and despite my general reservations against using this argument, addiction is a disease. Our bad choices get us there, but once we are there, it is a part of us. We lose control. We are unstable. Irrational. It affects every aspect of our thinking, and our behavior. This isn't to say that we shouldn't be held accountable for our actions, but it does serve to explain some of them. </p><p></p><p>I can tell you right now, if I hadn't gotten in touch with this aunt and uncle, I would not be alive. I had NOTHING. I had no reason to improve. My life was going to be equally as <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> with, or without the drugs. So why would I lose the only thing that at least made it bearable when I had it? It wasn't until my aunt and uncle came into the picture that I was able to see some light at the end of the tunnel. Even then, it took me a few years to be truly ready and willing to make the difficult choices, and change. So, offering reasonable support with conditions can be beneficial, but it needs to be clear, and firm. It shows that that good behavior and thinking is of benefit, while drug use, lying, and stealing is detrimental. As long as he does the right things, life will be easier. If he chooses to piss it all away, life will be difficult. Is this not how life SHOULD work? Give him the option. Set the stringent conditions, and be prepared to uphold the consequences. Yes, he is an adult. And it IS his decision to use drugs if he so desires. Help show him reasons NOT to use them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DarkwingPsyduck, post: 688525, member: 20267"] There is a fine line between support, and enabling, but that line DOES exist. It is a tight rope walk. Think about it this way; if your child was NOT a drug addict, and was doing everything generally the right way, you would offer them all the support you possibly could to help them along even further, right? Now, imagine that child developed a serious drug addiction, and has steadily pissed all of that away. What do you think his prospects are of improvement if he has NOTHING to improve for? I mean, he lost everything else. And yes, they were his decisions, but they weren't decisions made in the right mind. As difficult as this is to understand for non addicts, and despite my general reservations against using this argument, addiction is a disease. Our bad choices get us there, but once we are there, it is a part of us. We lose control. We are unstable. Irrational. It affects every aspect of our thinking, and our behavior. This isn't to say that we shouldn't be held accountable for our actions, but it does serve to explain some of them. I can tell you right now, if I hadn't gotten in touch with this aunt and uncle, I would not be alive. I had NOTHING. I had no reason to improve. My life was going to be equally as :censored2: with, or without the drugs. So why would I lose the only thing that at least made it bearable when I had it? It wasn't until my aunt and uncle came into the picture that I was able to see some light at the end of the tunnel. Even then, it took me a few years to be truly ready and willing to make the difficult choices, and change. So, offering reasonable support with conditions can be beneficial, but it needs to be clear, and firm. It shows that that good behavior and thinking is of benefit, while drug use, lying, and stealing is detrimental. As long as he does the right things, life will be easier. If he chooses to piss it all away, life will be difficult. Is this not how life SHOULD work? Give him the option. Set the stringent conditions, and be prepared to uphold the consequences. Yes, he is an adult. And it IS his decision to use drugs if he so desires. Help show him reasons NOT to use them. [/QUOTE]
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