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My son left. I asked him to.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 688547" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Gee, this is a great thread. Thank you everybody.</p><p>Yes. I agree, youngfool.</p><p></p><p>He said yesterday when he hung up that he would call back in an hour. 24 hours later. No call. I worried last night that he might have arrived back by train, and entered the house without telling us. I told M who asked, <em>do you want to drive over there?</em> (It was 10). <em>No. Why look for a problem so late. We will know sooner or later.</em></p><p>No. </p><p></p><p>The lying is so dug down deep, at this point, I do not know if he recognizes it, the moment he does it. He never lied as a child. This is something he learned after he left. In the street.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for this question, SoReady. Actually, it is about love and hope, not about good behavior. </p><p></p><p>I am seeing it the way Albatross saw it a few days ago. He used the house in a good way. He made a life. The beginnings of a good life. He can do more. He will. It will take struggle for both of us. But I believe now, he will do it. And I can too.</p><p>Yes. I found a review questionnaire from Social Security--to see if he still qualifies or not for SSI. He put it aside and did not do it.</p><p></p><p>When I told him he said: <em>Nobody told me when I went in.</em> He seems to do this everywhere in his life. Not follow through. He seemed terrified that he did not follow through. He wants that SSI.</p><p></p><p>It is not personal, how he treats me. This is him, right now, in his life. I do not know to what extent he can or will change. But instability will not help. I agree with Darkwing in this. I have to meet him where he is. That is my feeling now.</p><p></p><p>M said last night: <em>You should feel very content. Son knows now that you are all he has. </em></p><p>Yes. Not there right now. What a wonderful goal.</p><p></p><p>In the community where we live, especially in the neighborhood the house is it, marijuana is a way of life for many. But the thing is those people most of them are holding their own. I felt so gratified one day when my son referred to the neighbors as <em>"good people" you know, they have jobs and families.</em> I was happy he saw that. Because he does not have a job and a family. To use marijuana in the margin of a life, when everything else is functioning is one thing. To have it be your life is quite another. </p><p></p><p>I told him that on the phone, without mentioning marijuana. </p><p></p><p>I said, <em>Son, it is not that we did not see and understand that you needed the house and that you were well-served by it. We understand that. It is that you seemed to not accept fully that there are other important things. That you take responsibility for yourself. The SSI may not always be there. You need to find a way to take care of yourself when it is not.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I know.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>Thank you everybody. I wish I knew where he was now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 688547, member: 18958"] Gee, this is a great thread. Thank you everybody. Yes. I agree, youngfool. He said yesterday when he hung up that he would call back in an hour. 24 hours later. No call. I worried last night that he might have arrived back by train, and entered the house without telling us. I told M who asked, [I]do you want to drive over there?[/I] (It was 10). [I]No. Why look for a problem so late. We will know sooner or later.[/I] No. The lying is so dug down deep, at this point, I do not know if he recognizes it, the moment he does it. He never lied as a child. This is something he learned after he left. In the street. Thank you for this question, SoReady. Actually, it is about love and hope, not about good behavior. I am seeing it the way Albatross saw it a few days ago. He used the house in a good way. He made a life. The beginnings of a good life. He can do more. He will. It will take struggle for both of us. But I believe now, he will do it. And I can too. Yes. I found a review questionnaire from Social Security--to see if he still qualifies or not for SSI. He put it aside and did not do it. When I told him he said: [I]Nobody told me when I went in.[/I] He seems to do this everywhere in his life. Not follow through. He seemed terrified that he did not follow through. He wants that SSI. It is not personal, how he treats me. This is him, right now, in his life. I do not know to what extent he can or will change. But instability will not help. I agree with Darkwing in this. I have to meet him where he is. That is my feeling now. M said last night: [I]You should feel very content. Son knows now that you are all he has. [/I] Yes. Not there right now. What a wonderful goal. In the community where we live, especially in the neighborhood the house is it, marijuana is a way of life for many. But the thing is those people most of them are holding their own. I felt so gratified one day when my son referred to the neighbors as [I]"good people" you know, they have jobs and families.[/I] I was happy he saw that. Because he does not have a job and a family. To use marijuana in the margin of a life, when everything else is functioning is one thing. To have it be your life is quite another. I told him that on the phone, without mentioning marijuana. I said, [I]Son, it is not that we did not see and understand that you needed the house and that you were well-served by it. We understand that. It is that you seemed to not accept fully that there are other important things. That you take responsibility for yourself. The SSI may not always be there. You need to find a way to take care of yourself when it is not. I know. [/I] Thank you everybody.[I] [/I]I[I] [/I]wish I knew where he was now.[I][/I] [/QUOTE]
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