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Substance Abuse
My Son the addict
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<blockquote data-quote="SeaGenieTx" data-source="post: 671230" data-attributes="member: 18773"><p>New Leaf has given some of the best advice - reading her posts helps me cope and get a grip on my enabling. My son is out of my house and I had to really spend some time grieving, get it out of my system then snap out of it. I refuse to let my only child destroy me. I sacrificed my life for him, protected him, bailed him out of jail 3 times, rushed him to the ER after he and a friend got into a serious car wreck. .... he just will not learn. He is as intelligent as a box of rocks. I</p><p></p><p>If the "genius" at age 23 going on 24 can't grow up and make something of himself, he has to suffer the consequences, fend for himself, figure it out on his own. I can't save or rescue him or change his mind. It's all on him to change his ways. I've accepted the fact that things could end badly (he could end up in prison or dead). I have had to just turn it all over to a higher power so that I won't destroy my health and sanity. He will never move back in my house or live with me again.</p><p></p><p>I have no clue where my son is, he has gone to great lengths to make sure I can't track him down. The only way I can see if he is alive is to check his Instagram and see if the number of posts goes up. Once a week I check public jail inmate info and some of his friends on Facebook just in case they post a picture with him in it. The last photo I saw was one a friend of his posted and there was my son with a whipits can in his life, behind the wheel of his car, friend was in passenger seat. Both acting like clowns. Made me sick.</p><p></p><p>I won't contact him anymore. He knows exactly how I feel, that I love him and worry. He has zero respect for me so I've had my big cry, sat and grieved an entire day just staring at the wall wailing over the loss of my son but now I have to be strong and do things for me so my health and sanity doesn't take a nosedive. I have no family support so it's incredibly hard - I've reached out to my church for help so I hope I can find people to trust within the church. Problem is my trust level is zip. I've lost so many people and been betrayed by people I reached out to for help, now my own son has betrayed me - I feel defeated. I've lost everyone I've loved - it's tough. Only thing I have is my faith right now (and New Leaf's word's of wisdom!).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeaGenieTx, post: 671230, member: 18773"] New Leaf has given some of the best advice - reading her posts helps me cope and get a grip on my enabling. My son is out of my house and I had to really spend some time grieving, get it out of my system then snap out of it. I refuse to let my only child destroy me. I sacrificed my life for him, protected him, bailed him out of jail 3 times, rushed him to the ER after he and a friend got into a serious car wreck. .... he just will not learn. He is as intelligent as a box of rocks. I If the "genius" at age 23 going on 24 can't grow up and make something of himself, he has to suffer the consequences, fend for himself, figure it out on his own. I can't save or rescue him or change his mind. It's all on him to change his ways. I've accepted the fact that things could end badly (he could end up in prison or dead). I have had to just turn it all over to a higher power so that I won't destroy my health and sanity. He will never move back in my house or live with me again. I have no clue where my son is, he has gone to great lengths to make sure I can't track him down. The only way I can see if he is alive is to check his Instagram and see if the number of posts goes up. Once a week I check public jail inmate info and some of his friends on Facebook just in case they post a picture with him in it. The last photo I saw was one a friend of his posted and there was my son with a whipits can in his life, behind the wheel of his car, friend was in passenger seat. Both acting like clowns. Made me sick. I won't contact him anymore. He knows exactly how I feel, that I love him and worry. He has zero respect for me so I've had my big cry, sat and grieved an entire day just staring at the wall wailing over the loss of my son but now I have to be strong and do things for me so my health and sanity doesn't take a nosedive. I have no family support so it's incredibly hard - I've reached out to my church for help so I hope I can find people to trust within the church. Problem is my trust level is zip. I've lost so many people and been betrayed by people I reached out to for help, now my own son has betrayed me - I feel defeated. I've lost everyone I've loved - it's tough. Only thing I have is my faith right now (and New Leaf's word's of wisdom!). [/QUOTE]
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