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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 625820" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hon, a lot of kids are screamed at by their parents and two of my kids were raped. One was eight and at a friend's house when she was raped by a visitor who was drunk. She told nobody until she was fourteen!!! Neither of my kids beat anyone up. Neither ever would. Both are now doing great. What happens to you happens and how you deal with it is your own decision.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion you should feel bad for your daughter, not your son. He is choosing to be violent and if he ruins his life, that is on his shoulders. It is not because his father yelled at him or that he was raped. It was because he decided to hurt his sister, which is frankly pretty heinous.</p><p></p><p>He will have ample time to get help, if he is willing to do so, and make amends to those he has hurt. He is still young, although way too old to be beating people up. It is up to him if he gets his life back on track. He is not the only person who had a tough start. Have you ever read "A Child Called It" by Dave Peltzer? His mother beat him, starved him and tried to kill him and he is a fine young man right now. He worked on is problems.</p><p></p><p>We choose the path we take and how we react to our abuse. There is no excuse for what your son did to his sister and he most certainly should face the consequences. Hopefully he will use this experience to get serious help. in my opinion he does not deserve your pity. He will more likely change if he realizes how unacceptable his behavior was.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry for your hurting mommy heart, but do feel it is better served feeling badly for your daughter. I hope you can find some peace and serenity in your day and concentrate on YOU rather than your grown kids who have to walk their own paths at their ages. You can not do it for them and do not let your son guilt you out. That is a common trait of our difficult children. We feel sorry for them because they harp on all that happened to them and we forget that, as bad as it may have been, not everyone who has gone through the same turns out to be violent or drug abusing or mean.</p><p></p><p>Try to think about YOURSELF today. YOU need to de-stress and YOU matter as much as your kids do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 625820, member: 1550"] Hon, a lot of kids are screamed at by their parents and two of my kids were raped. One was eight and at a friend's house when she was raped by a visitor who was drunk. She told nobody until she was fourteen!!! Neither of my kids beat anyone up. Neither ever would. Both are now doing great. What happens to you happens and how you deal with it is your own decision. in my opinion you should feel bad for your daughter, not your son. He is choosing to be violent and if he ruins his life, that is on his shoulders. It is not because his father yelled at him or that he was raped. It was because he decided to hurt his sister, which is frankly pretty heinous. He will have ample time to get help, if he is willing to do so, and make amends to those he has hurt. He is still young, although way too old to be beating people up. It is up to him if he gets his life back on track. He is not the only person who had a tough start. Have you ever read "A Child Called It" by Dave Peltzer? His mother beat him, starved him and tried to kill him and he is a fine young man right now. He worked on is problems. We choose the path we take and how we react to our abuse. There is no excuse for what your son did to his sister and he most certainly should face the consequences. Hopefully he will use this experience to get serious help. in my opinion he does not deserve your pity. He will more likely change if he realizes how unacceptable his behavior was. I am sorry for your hurting mommy heart, but do feel it is better served feeling badly for your daughter. I hope you can find some peace and serenity in your day and concentrate on YOU rather than your grown kids who have to walk their own paths at their ages. You can not do it for them and do not let your son guilt you out. That is a common trait of our difficult children. We feel sorry for them because they harp on all that happened to them and we forget that, as bad as it may have been, not everyone who has gone through the same turns out to be violent or drug abusing or mean. Try to think about YOURSELF today. YOU need to de-stress and YOU matter as much as your kids do. [/QUOTE]
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