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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 625874" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Ok, here's a link to Radical Acceptance:</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.tarabrach.com/articles/trauma.html" target="_blank">http://www.tarabrach.com/articles/trauma.html</a></p><p></p><p>Your ex is NOT the reason your son is violent. He is violent because that is how he chooses to behave and he will not get help for his problems that have upset him in years gone by. He passed up those acceptable options. My own father, who is still alive, was a terror. His favorite thing to say to us was, "Not one of you gave me one moment of pleasure. Not one!" H e liked to call us losers and worse (put in the cuss words). None of us hit anyone. We all had issues because of him but we went to counseling, not jail, and learned that the words were HIS problems, not ours.</p><p></p><p>THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO PHYSICALLY ATTACK SOMEBODY ELSE. If you feel like doing it, go for help. Do not act on it. Your son was in the wrong and your daughter sounds very immature and you need to learn how to live a good life even though your grown children are struggling. Your life matters too. What happens to them hereafter is on their shoulders. They are approaching middle age and you can't protect them anymore.</p><p></p><p>Hugs a nd I do care. I just want you to see that there is never an excuse for violence and that your daughter and son probably should not even live together or be at your house. You can't live forever. They both need to be able to live on their own, even if they learn how to do it the hard way. If that were me, and I am not you of course, neither would be allowed to live at home. That's just nuts in my opinion. Why don't you deserve peace in your own home? That kind of baby malicious baiting and taking the bait should end at very early ages, pre-teen, or they need serious help and seem not to be getting it. I would let them figure it out on their own. You can not change either of them. JMO.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 625874, member: 1550"] Ok, here's a link to Radical Acceptance: [url]http://www.tarabrach.com/articles/trauma.html[/url] Your ex is NOT the reason your son is violent. He is violent because that is how he chooses to behave and he will not get help for his problems that have upset him in years gone by. He passed up those acceptable options. My own father, who is still alive, was a terror. His favorite thing to say to us was, "Not one of you gave me one moment of pleasure. Not one!" H e liked to call us losers and worse (put in the cuss words). None of us hit anyone. We all had issues because of him but we went to counseling, not jail, and learned that the words were HIS problems, not ours. THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO PHYSICALLY ATTACK SOMEBODY ELSE. If you feel like doing it, go for help. Do not act on it. Your son was in the wrong and your daughter sounds very immature and you need to learn how to live a good life even though your grown children are struggling. Your life matters too. What happens to them hereafter is on their shoulders. They are approaching middle age and you can't protect them anymore. Hugs a nd I do care. I just want you to see that there is never an excuse for violence and that your daughter and son probably should not even live together or be at your house. You can't live forever. They both need to be able to live on their own, even if they learn how to do it the hard way. If that were me, and I am not you of course, neither would be allowed to live at home. That's just nuts in my opinion. Why don't you deserve peace in your own home? That kind of baby malicious baiting and taking the bait should end at very early ages, pre-teen, or they need serious help and seem not to be getting it. I would let them figure it out on their own. You can not change either of them. JMO. [/QUOTE]
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