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Parent Emeritus
My story. The heartbreak.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 713745" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I would detach from the drama. You have no obligation to listen. She is 34, not 14. Yes, age matters. Tell her, when she starts up:</p><p></p><p>"Oops. Someone at the door. Have to go."</p><p></p><p>"I have a hair appointment. Later!"</p><p></p><p>"I have to run to the store. Now. I am picking up Sue and she is waiting. Love you. Another time!"</p><p></p><p>Or the truth. "I cant listen to your drama anymore. It stresses me and i cant help you. No, i wont give you money. Thats over. Apply for Disability or welfare or both. You are 34, smart and can figure it out. Love you. Bye!"</p><p></p><p>Borderlines are in constant drama because they crave it, cause it, and constantly make hideous choices, often rage at people, lose jobs due to temper fits and have trouble in ALL relationships. They very often fall for abusive men. That is on tjem. They need intensive therspy but dont think they do. So they rinse/repeat the same bad dramatic choices.</p><p></p><p>Plus the personality disorder makes them think none of their woes are caused by themselves...it is everyone eise who is crazy, not them. Also they demand things a teen may need, but not a 34 year old woman...money, a free place in your house, your ear for their abuse etc</p><p></p><p>Borderlines are impossible to reason with and do not maintain good nature long term. They may be nice for two weeks, then explode on you.</p><p></p><p>Do buy the book Stop Walking on Eggshells by Randi Krieger. Do take care of and protect yourself. Do remember she is smart and able bodied and could try therapy and work but she wont.</p><p></p><p>She is no longer your baby or a that cute small child and its up to her to fix herself at 34. You deserve retirement from being a mommy to her.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps check out this other forum: its all about borderline relatives.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.bpdcentral,com" target="_blank">www.bpdcentral,com</a></p><p></p><p>You can only fix yourself, not her. Be good to YOU. You earned it. Relax. You cant be too young,and dont let her drama make you sick. You have a happy life to get on with and live. Detach. Love her, of course, but detach. And plan great golden years with the kind folks in your life. I'm a no drama mama <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Hope you join me!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 713745, member: 1550"] I would detach from the drama. You have no obligation to listen. She is 34, not 14. Yes, age matters. Tell her, when she starts up: "Oops. Someone at the door. Have to go." "I have a hair appointment. Later!" "I have to run to the store. Now. I am picking up Sue and she is waiting. Love you. Another time!" Or the truth. "I cant listen to your drama anymore. It stresses me and i cant help you. No, i wont give you money. Thats over. Apply for Disability or welfare or both. You are 34, smart and can figure it out. Love you. Bye!" Borderlines are in constant drama because they crave it, cause it, and constantly make hideous choices, often rage at people, lose jobs due to temper fits and have trouble in ALL relationships. They very often fall for abusive men. That is on tjem. They need intensive therspy but dont think they do. So they rinse/repeat the same bad dramatic choices. Plus the personality disorder makes them think none of their woes are caused by themselves...it is everyone eise who is crazy, not them. Also they demand things a teen may need, but not a 34 year old woman...money, a free place in your house, your ear for their abuse etc Borderlines are impossible to reason with and do not maintain good nature long term. They may be nice for two weeks, then explode on you. Do buy the book Stop Walking on Eggshells by Randi Krieger. Do take care of and protect yourself. Do remember she is smart and able bodied and could try therapy and work but she wont. She is no longer your baby or a that cute small child and its up to her to fix herself at 34. You deserve retirement from being a mommy to her. Perhaps check out this other forum: its all about borderline relatives. [URL='http://www.bpdcentral,com']www.bpdcentral,com[/URL] You can only fix yourself, not her. Be good to YOU. You earned it. Relax. You cant be too young,and dont let her drama make you sick. You have a happy life to get on with and live. Detach. Love her, of course, but detach. And plan great golden years with the kind folks in your life. I'm a no drama mama :) Hope you join me! [/QUOTE]
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