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General Parenting
My Visit with my son on Family Day
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<blockquote data-quote="LynnG61" data-source="post: 105109" data-attributes="member: 3558"><p>Good morning David,</p><p></p><p>The 8th must have been the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) day, as I was able to visit with my son that day as well! He had his first pass to go out a few hours since he has been there (levels like your son) and we went to lunch and did a bit of holiday shopping. And just enjoyed each others company. </p><p></p><p>It takes a lot of work for both our difficult child's and ourselves while they are in there. And a lot of stress as well. </p><p></p><p>As much as I want to discuss everything in reference to his treatment, goals, plans, etc. I save my limited "out" time to not discuss issues there, as we do family therapy twice a week at the facility and wanted that time to be just "us" time and reconnect. I have found for me, it allows me to be more refreshed when the battles come (and they do at these family sessions. It is not playing ostrich, it is mentally polishing off the body armor needed for the next session. And it also gives my son a chance to relax as well, and not be on guard defending everything/choice he does. </p><p></p><p>When my son starts the "I want to come home, I will behave....etc " and gets very anxious when doing this and his stress levels rise very fast, I remind him that this is our limited time to do things, and we can certainly sit and discuss them with the Therapist and use the time that way or we can take a breather and think about what we truly want to discuss calmly at the session as we had time to think it through. For my son, this removes the pressure of "telling it all" and lowers his anxiety. I am not sure how often you have family therapy there with your son. </p><p></p><p>So far, it seems to work for us, as I feel we need "good times" to get us through the rough times. For our limited passes out, it is a reprieve and a chance to view and experience what my son is learning in coping out in the world without the added stress of the situation of wanting to come home, etc. In turn, it allows me to practice what I learn from the sessions in dealing with my son.</p><p></p><p>Not sure if this is the right way or the wrong way, just the way that is working for a positive response in my son.</p><p></p><p>Either way, just hope another insight helps you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LynnG61, post: 105109, member: 3558"] Good morning David, The 8th must have been the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) day, as I was able to visit with my son that day as well! He had his first pass to go out a few hours since he has been there (levels like your son) and we went to lunch and did a bit of holiday shopping. And just enjoyed each others company. It takes a lot of work for both our difficult child's and ourselves while they are in there. And a lot of stress as well. As much as I want to discuss everything in reference to his treatment, goals, plans, etc. I save my limited "out" time to not discuss issues there, as we do family therapy twice a week at the facility and wanted that time to be just "us" time and reconnect. I have found for me, it allows me to be more refreshed when the battles come (and they do at these family sessions. It is not playing ostrich, it is mentally polishing off the body armor needed for the next session. And it also gives my son a chance to relax as well, and not be on guard defending everything/choice he does. When my son starts the "I want to come home, I will behave....etc " and gets very anxious when doing this and his stress levels rise very fast, I remind him that this is our limited time to do things, and we can certainly sit and discuss them with the Therapist and use the time that way or we can take a breather and think about what we truly want to discuss calmly at the session as we had time to think it through. For my son, this removes the pressure of "telling it all" and lowers his anxiety. I am not sure how often you have family therapy there with your son. So far, it seems to work for us, as I feel we need "good times" to get us through the rough times. For our limited passes out, it is a reprieve and a chance to view and experience what my son is learning in coping out in the world without the added stress of the situation of wanting to come home, etc. In turn, it allows me to practice what I learn from the sessions in dealing with my son. Not sure if this is the right way or the wrong way, just the way that is working for a positive response in my son. Either way, just hope another insight helps you. [/QUOTE]
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