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General Parenting
Nature vs nurture and adoption
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 120379" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Nancy,</p><p> When I was younger I really thought (and was taught) that if a child had a stable home, good parents, education, love, structure, a moral code of ethics that they would just grow up to be decent human beings. (I can hear everyone snickering about this absurdity)</p><p> I really ignored my mother's "look to the family to see what a person is like". Which actually translates into genetics. I didn't want to believe I didn't have the ability to control my own life and raise wonderful children. </p><p> Certainly, I see now, how the dye is cast at birth with life experiences smoothing or roughening the outer edges of a personality. We know no one who is as affected as difficult child in either family. He got the worst of both genetic sides. </p><p> My easy child is genetic and physically like me. Since he was 6months old, I could tell you what he was thinking because our circuits are so similar. difficult child, I have learned how he thinks and it is truthfully very different. It's like two opposing lines. Due to environment though, I think(very unscientific) both will get to the same point in life but by very different roads. </p><p> Environment is the same for 2 children but if their circuitry or thinking processes are different, the reactions and behaviors would be different. I have seen habits and behaviors in difficult child that go back to the grandparents. No way are they learned. </p><p> At least this is how it would seem to me. I will be curious to read this book but I'm pretty sure I am on board with the thinking.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 120379, member: 3"] Nancy, When I was younger I really thought (and was taught) that if a child had a stable home, good parents, education, love, structure, a moral code of ethics that they would just grow up to be decent human beings. (I can hear everyone snickering about this absurdity) I really ignored my mother's "look to the family to see what a person is like". Which actually translates into genetics. I didn't want to believe I didn't have the ability to control my own life and raise wonderful children. Certainly, I see now, how the dye is cast at birth with life experiences smoothing or roughening the outer edges of a personality. We know no one who is as affected as difficult child in either family. He got the worst of both genetic sides. My easy child is genetic and physically like me. Since he was 6months old, I could tell you what he was thinking because our circuits are so similar. difficult child, I have learned how he thinks and it is truthfully very different. It's like two opposing lines. Due to environment though, I think(very unscientific) both will get to the same point in life but by very different roads. Environment is the same for 2 children but if their circuitry or thinking processes are different, the reactions and behaviors would be different. I have seen habits and behaviors in difficult child that go back to the grandparents. No way are they learned. At least this is how it would seem to me. I will be curious to read this book but I'm pretty sure I am on board with the thinking. [/QUOTE]
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