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Substance Abuse
Navigating the Holidays when your Child is in Early Recovery from Addiction
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 723218" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Can you have a second seperate celebration, just immediate family, at a nice restaurant rather than in home? Nobody orders alcohol? You have to think of the entire family, not just disturbed child. You can do the eve and the day. If a child is unsafe in our home for any reason, including being a possible thief, that child should not have the opportunity, no matter the pain in our mother heart. What if he stole Aunt Millies cherished diamond ring or got drunk and shoved Grandma into the wall. Is it worth it?</p><p>When things were tough, I used to wish Thanksgiving and Christmas would stop existing. On thr plus side, those hard times made me forever put the holiday days into perspective...two days of the year...most people not so happy to be with family. In fact I read an interesting poll back in my bad ole days. It was on TV or in a magazine, but it made me smile in a cynical way. Given a choice, 33% of people polled prefered celebrating the holidays with fsmily over chosen friends. Most of the rest preferred friends. A small % didnt care or had no opinion.</p><p></p><p>We as the wife and mother put so much pressure on ourselves for the perfect holidays. Maybe too hard. We care more about perfection thsn those we host.</p><p></p><p>I have learned to take it somewhat easy.</p><p></p><p>If we can only relax, i believe holidays with difficult kids can help us relax. I figured it out too late.</p><p></p><p>In spite of TV and stores packing their aisles with holiday joy, I believe at least half of the people dont enjoy the holidays all that much...we give into societal glitter and pressure and insist that WE put forth an unforgettable holiday. But in most ways it is just another Thursday (whoever said that....brilliant) in which many of us eat dinner with family. Its a more elaborate dinner with extra folks at the table. If it doesnt go that well, so? The world will still turn.</p><p></p><p>I hope everyone figures out how to enjoy these holidays yet keep the pressure to a simmer.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 723218, member: 1550"] Can you have a second seperate celebration, just immediate family, at a nice restaurant rather than in home? Nobody orders alcohol? You have to think of the entire family, not just disturbed child. You can do the eve and the day. If a child is unsafe in our home for any reason, including being a possible thief, that child should not have the opportunity, no matter the pain in our mother heart. What if he stole Aunt Millies cherished diamond ring or got drunk and shoved Grandma into the wall. Is it worth it? When things were tough, I used to wish Thanksgiving and Christmas would stop existing. On thr plus side, those hard times made me forever put the holiday days into perspective...two days of the year...most people not so happy to be with family. In fact I read an interesting poll back in my bad ole days. It was on TV or in a magazine, but it made me smile in a cynical way. Given a choice, 33% of people polled prefered celebrating the holidays with fsmily over chosen friends. Most of the rest preferred friends. A small % didnt care or had no opinion. We as the wife and mother put so much pressure on ourselves for the perfect holidays. Maybe too hard. We care more about perfection thsn those we host. I have learned to take it somewhat easy. If we can only relax, i believe holidays with difficult kids can help us relax. I figured it out too late. In spite of TV and stores packing their aisles with holiday joy, I believe at least half of the people dont enjoy the holidays all that much...we give into societal glitter and pressure and insist that WE put forth an unforgettable holiday. But in most ways it is just another Thursday (whoever said that....brilliant) in which many of us eat dinner with family. Its a more elaborate dinner with extra folks at the table. If it doesnt go that well, so? The world will still turn. I hope everyone figures out how to enjoy these holidays yet keep the pressure to a simmer. [/QUOTE]
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