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Need a "Pep Talk"
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 300293" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Well--</p><p> </p><p>I have an interesting update....</p><p> </p><p>When I started this thread I was really just hoping for a few "Hang in there"s, or "Hope things will get better soon"s. But instead, everyone responded with some really practical ideas and suggestions.</p><p> </p><p>And as I thought about everyone's comments--I realized that I had already tried a lot of these myself (having duplicate items, making sure difficult child had a large mix-n-match wardrobe selection, making sure laundry was always done within a few days, etc). I began to wonder if we were all thinking about the situation a little too 'logically' and not enough 'difficult child'?</p><p> </p><p>So that night at the dinner table, I tried to talk to difficult child about her clothes situation. She was immediately defensive and accused husband and I of all kinds of things that had nothing to do with anything. So I told her that I wanted to avoid any more morning meltdowns over clothes, so we were going to pick out some outfits now. I made her get all of the clothes that she had originally brought to the "before school wardrobe inspection" (and naturally this took a lot of anger and stomping around--and how come I have to get all my shirts? etc)</p><p> </p><p>Finally, difficult child is seated in the midst of, I kid you not, enormous piles of shirts, sweaters, sweatshirts, pants, skirts, dresses etc. I say to her, <em>OK--let's see if we can decide on an outfit for tomorrow</em>. She responds "<em>I can't. All my clothes are in the laundry</em>."</p><p> </p><p>Talk about a "disconnect"!!!! And she's really <em>angry</em> that I can't seem to understand that she has no clothes!!!</p><p> </p><p>I plead with her to try and find an outfit. Finally she grabs a flouncy skirt and pairs it with a tattered black sweatshirt. "<em>There</em>" she says "<em>That's the only thing that matches</em>." Except, of course, that it doesn't.</p><p> </p><p>We try again. I pick up a casual white skirt that would look great with just about anything. Flustered, she looks around and finally decides that the only thing that would go with the white skirt is her old art smock from gradeschool. Are you kidding me?!?!???? The art smock?</p><p> </p><p>So I begin pairing up outfits for her. Look, the white skirt matches with your pink tee, and your red tee, and your striped green tee (and on and on and on). Then onto another item...Look at this, it matches with this and this and this and this and this. Look here--this goes together, that goes together....</p><p> </p><p>difficult child was dumbstruck. </p><p> </p><p>To think that all these years she's been having meltdowns and angry fits about clothing, when all along the trouble has been that she has no idea how to choose an outfit. I even discovered that she doesn't "get" colors. I told her to pair something with her black, striped skirt. She had no idea what I meant because she couldn't tell that the skirt was black. Because of the stripes, she didn't know what color it was at all.</p><p> </p><p>It seems that difficult child understood that jeans match with T-shirts....and once she wore the jeans and threw them in the wash--she couldn't wear any tees with anything else. Same with a pair of shorts--they went with a particlur shirt....and if either one was dirty, there was no other option.</p><p> </p><p>I am <em>so</em> bringing this up with the new psychiatrist. Mood disorder my a**!!!</p><p> </p><p>--DaisyF</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 300293, member: 6546"] Well-- I have an interesting update.... When I started this thread I was really just hoping for a few "Hang in there"s, or "Hope things will get better soon"s. But instead, everyone responded with some really practical ideas and suggestions. And as I thought about everyone's comments--I realized that I had already tried a lot of these myself (having duplicate items, making sure difficult child had a large mix-n-match wardrobe selection, making sure laundry was always done within a few days, etc). I began to wonder if we were all thinking about the situation a little too 'logically' and not enough 'difficult child'? So that night at the dinner table, I tried to talk to difficult child about her clothes situation. She was immediately defensive and accused husband and I of all kinds of things that had nothing to do with anything. So I told her that I wanted to avoid any more morning meltdowns over clothes, so we were going to pick out some outfits now. I made her get all of the clothes that she had originally brought to the "before school wardrobe inspection" (and naturally this took a lot of anger and stomping around--and how come I have to get all my shirts? etc) Finally, difficult child is seated in the midst of, I kid you not, enormous piles of shirts, sweaters, sweatshirts, pants, skirts, dresses etc. I say to her, [I]OK--let's see if we can decide on an outfit for tomorrow[/I]. She responds "[I]I can't. All my clothes are in the laundry[/I]." Talk about a "disconnect"!!!! And she's really [I]angry[/I] that I can't seem to understand that she has no clothes!!! I plead with her to try and find an outfit. Finally she grabs a flouncy skirt and pairs it with a tattered black sweatshirt. "[I]There[/I]" she says "[I]That's the only thing that matches[/I]." Except, of course, that it doesn't. We try again. I pick up a casual white skirt that would look great with just about anything. Flustered, she looks around and finally decides that the only thing that would go with the white skirt is her old art smock from gradeschool. Are you kidding me?!?!???? The art smock? So I begin pairing up outfits for her. Look, the white skirt matches with your pink tee, and your red tee, and your striped green tee (and on and on and on). Then onto another item...Look at this, it matches with this and this and this and this and this. Look here--this goes together, that goes together.... difficult child was dumbstruck. To think that all these years she's been having meltdowns and angry fits about clothing, when all along the trouble has been that she has no idea how to choose an outfit. I even discovered that she doesn't "get" colors. I told her to pair something with her black, striped skirt. She had no idea what I meant because she couldn't tell that the skirt was black. Because of the stripes, she didn't know what color it was at all. It seems that difficult child understood that jeans match with T-shirts....and once she wore the jeans and threw them in the wash--she couldn't wear any tees with anything else. Same with a pair of shorts--they went with a particlur shirt....and if either one was dirty, there was no other option. I am [I]so[/I] bringing this up with the new psychiatrist. Mood disorder my a**!!! --DaisyF [/QUOTE]
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