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Need advice - expenses and adult children at home
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 301383" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>I think instead of discussing it like a topic in passing make it an official conversation.</p><p>Call a family meeting for Sunday evening after dinner. Everyone must attend. </p><p></p><p>Sit down with the budget. What the bills are written in one column. Income in the other. </p><p>Ask how they can contribute in order to live there. Explain what has to be cut out if they are to keep a roof over their heads.</p><p>Instead of talking in an accusatory or defensive way, talk to them like a financial guy. Calm, ask their advice of how to manage the home financials and what their part should be. </p><p></p><p>At the end, let them know that you appreciate their input and that if you give them money they must give you the change. Anything else is theft. It's what I told my difficult child. If money is not returned to me or is taken without asking that I will call police because it is theft. (you probably couldn't pull that one off with your kids but my difficult child believed it) Still the point is I resent their sense of entitlement. I worked for my money too and I want them to respect that they have to work for theirs. </p><p></p><p>I make difficult child pay rent and food. I keep it aside for the time he needs a deposit on his own place and will use it for that. Fortunately, at this time, I don't need it to pay bills but he works hard around the house for me too. </p><p></p><p>At some point you may not need as much financial contribution but since times are hard, you should expect that everyone will pitch in.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 301383, member: 3"] I think instead of discussing it like a topic in passing make it an official conversation. Call a family meeting for Sunday evening after dinner. Everyone must attend. Sit down with the budget. What the bills are written in one column. Income in the other. Ask how they can contribute in order to live there. Explain what has to be cut out if they are to keep a roof over their heads. Instead of talking in an accusatory or defensive way, talk to them like a financial guy. Calm, ask their advice of how to manage the home financials and what their part should be. At the end, let them know that you appreciate their input and that if you give them money they must give you the change. Anything else is theft. It's what I told my difficult child. If money is not returned to me or is taken without asking that I will call police because it is theft. (you probably couldn't pull that one off with your kids but my difficult child believed it) Still the point is I resent their sense of entitlement. I worked for my money too and I want them to respect that they have to work for theirs. I make difficult child pay rent and food. I keep it aside for the time he needs a deposit on his own place and will use it for that. Fortunately, at this time, I don't need it to pay bills but he works hard around the house for me too. At some point you may not need as much financial contribution but since times are hard, you should expect that everyone will pitch in. [/QUOTE]
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Need advice - expenses and adult children at home
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