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Substance Abuse
Need Advice on Abandonment Issues
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 647072" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Stressedmama, I get what you are talking about. I'm sorry, I know how disconcerting it can be. I think you were correct in your choice to not put your grandson on the phone. </p><p></p><p>My daughter would walk in to my home, right past her daughter's room and not say a word to her, she never asks about her to this day. I send pictures via text, I let my daughter know what her daughter is doing, but the disconnect between them is remarkable. I can look back and recall that before my daughter's husband committed suicide, life seemed normal, they all seemed connected, but after that, everything blew apart for everyone and my granddaughter was completely abandoned by both her parents, one physically, one emotionally. </p><p></p><p>She is impacted by these early events in ways now she will need to work out herself and my heart hurts for her at times, but it is her path, her destiny. When this all happened when my granddaughter was 3, I got her into therapy immediately. I recall one time talking to the therapist, I was devastated myself, we all were..........and the therapist said, "you never know how things are going to work themselves out, your granddaughter could grow up and become a psychologist specializing in working with people who lost a parent through suicide." I never forgot that. And, the interesting thing now is that my granddaughter is a freshman in college and she loves her Psychology class. She is also the kid all her friends turn to when they need counsel, she is wise beyond her years due to her early circumstances and she is able to have insight (in certain ways, in other ways she can be a typical defiant teenager!!) </p><p></p><p>Stressedmama, are you aware that grandparents raising their grandchildren is epidemic now? One of my granddaughter's therapists told me that, I was shocked, but it's true. If you do some research you might find resources for you. I found a terrific organization here where I live which offered a lot of support for grandparents which included help with guardianship, support groups, financial resources available through Social Services, just a lot of info. If you haven't already, you might look into that.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. I really understand your story very well. It's my story too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 647072, member: 13542"] Stressedmama, I get what you are talking about. I'm sorry, I know how disconcerting it can be. I think you were correct in your choice to not put your grandson on the phone. My daughter would walk in to my home, right past her daughter's room and not say a word to her, she never asks about her to this day. I send pictures via text, I let my daughter know what her daughter is doing, but the disconnect between them is remarkable. I can look back and recall that before my daughter's husband committed suicide, life seemed normal, they all seemed connected, but after that, everything blew apart for everyone and my granddaughter was completely abandoned by both her parents, one physically, one emotionally. She is impacted by these early events in ways now she will need to work out herself and my heart hurts for her at times, but it is her path, her destiny. When this all happened when my granddaughter was 3, I got her into therapy immediately. I recall one time talking to the therapist, I was devastated myself, we all were..........and the therapist said, "you never know how things are going to work themselves out, your granddaughter could grow up and become a psychologist specializing in working with people who lost a parent through suicide." I never forgot that. And, the interesting thing now is that my granddaughter is a freshman in college and she loves her Psychology class. She is also the kid all her friends turn to when they need counsel, she is wise beyond her years due to her early circumstances and she is able to have insight (in certain ways, in other ways she can be a typical defiant teenager!!) Stressedmama, are you aware that grandparents raising their grandchildren is epidemic now? One of my granddaughter's therapists told me that, I was shocked, but it's true. If you do some research you might find resources for you. I found a terrific organization here where I live which offered a lot of support for grandparents which included help with guardianship, support groups, financial resources available through Social Services, just a lot of info. If you haven't already, you might look into that. Hang in there. I really understand your story very well. It's my story too. [/QUOTE]
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