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Need advice on best and least combative way to get 19 year old to move out
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 532012" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>Vligrl,</p><p>When my difficult child was using meth and smoking pot and God knows what else, he never responded to texts or calls if he was out getting high. He was basically out all day, tentatively hung on to a p/t job, (which he then quit), then stayed out till 11:30PM and crashed into his room, shut the door, and didn't come out. Conversations were started by us, but he wasn't even rational or verbal at that time. We never ate meals together at one point - he was using our home as the YMCA or some kind of flophouse. He didn't look us in the eye, didn't attend family gatherings, and avoided us whenever possible. He funded his substance abuse with his p/t job salary, and ate at Taco Bell, etc. We didn't give him a dime. Avoidance of family was excessive during his heaviest sub. abuse. In your difficult child's case, he may be avoiding your texts/calls for the same reason. I can't speak for your difficult child, but in our son's mind, we were a huge bringdown, so why would he want to have any contact with us? I think we reminded him of his shame, which led to further use, which led to more shame, etc.</p><p>If your difficult child won't go for treatment, then you have to decide whether you and husband can accept living like this. It's hard, but he will go on using and it will escalate if the bottom isn't raised. If you read the posts on SA forum from Toughlovin, you'll see that her son was living on the streets for a while. It's awful, but occasionally, it does come down to that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 532012, member: 13882"] Vligrl, When my difficult child was using meth and smoking pot and God knows what else, he never responded to texts or calls if he was out getting high. He was basically out all day, tentatively hung on to a p/t job, (which he then quit), then stayed out till 11:30PM and crashed into his room, shut the door, and didn't come out. Conversations were started by us, but he wasn't even rational or verbal at that time. We never ate meals together at one point - he was using our home as the YMCA or some kind of flophouse. He didn't look us in the eye, didn't attend family gatherings, and avoided us whenever possible. He funded his substance abuse with his p/t job salary, and ate at Taco Bell, etc. We didn't give him a dime. Avoidance of family was excessive during his heaviest sub. abuse. In your difficult child's case, he may be avoiding your texts/calls for the same reason. I can't speak for your difficult child, but in our son's mind, we were a huge bringdown, so why would he want to have any contact with us? I think we reminded him of his shame, which led to further use, which led to more shame, etc. If your difficult child won't go for treatment, then you have to decide whether you and husband can accept living like this. It's hard, but he will go on using and it will escalate if the bottom isn't raised. If you read the posts on SA forum from Toughlovin, you'll see that her son was living on the streets for a while. It's awful, but occasionally, it does come down to that. [/QUOTE]
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Need advice on best and least combative way to get 19 year old to move out
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