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Parent Emeritus
Need advice on best and least combative way to get 19 year old to move out
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 532025" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>You don't.</p><p>At 19, some things are beyond punishment. Most things are.</p><p>Logical consequences... sure. Like the whole "car" issue. Do X and Y, and you don't have a car anymore.</p><p></p><p>But you don't punish non-communication, or all you get is even more non-communication.</p><p>It's not an offence to remain silent. Just a huge frustration for everybody else.</p><p></p><p>Set your rules, for life in your house.</p><p>Agree on the logical consequences if the rules aren't followed.</p><p>If one of the rules has to do with communicating whereabouts and/or schedule... negotiate the consequences of non-communication. BUT it has to be logical. In HIS mind, not just yours.</p><p></p><p>Somehow, you want to nudge him in the right direction. Attacking communication is going to damage the relationship (such as it is), not repair it. You have to fix the relationship to fix the communication (the two go hand-in-hand... so you fix both at the same time)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 532025, member: 11791"] You don't. At 19, some things are beyond punishment. Most things are. Logical consequences... sure. Like the whole "car" issue. Do X and Y, and you don't have a car anymore. But you don't punish non-communication, or all you get is even more non-communication. It's not an offence to remain silent. Just a huge frustration for everybody else. Set your rules, for life in your house. Agree on the logical consequences if the rules aren't followed. If one of the rules has to do with communicating whereabouts and/or schedule... negotiate the consequences of non-communication. BUT it has to be logical. In HIS mind, not just yours. Somehow, you want to nudge him in the right direction. Attacking communication is going to damage the relationship (such as it is), not repair it. You have to fix the relationship to fix the communication (the two go hand-in-hand... so you fix both at the same time) [/QUOTE]
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Need advice on best and least combative way to get 19 year old to move out
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