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Need advice on two things
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 371163" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I have also had my days of this behavior. It certainly is a manipulation to change the subject and he knows your emotions is the hot button to push. Try you best to keep the focus on the issue at hand. For example, if you had just asked him to clean his room it may start with, "difficult child, today I would like you to clean your room". He may start slow, "I don't have to do what you say," "difficult child, today you will clean your room". "You can't make me", "difficult child, today you will clean your room", "You are stupid", "Today you will clean your room". "Why do you make me so mad?" "Today you will clean your room", "If you didn't make me so mad all the time, I would be a better person!" "Today you will clean your room" .........................</p><p> </p><p>See where this is going? It will be your focus point to keep him from turning the subject into how crazy he wants you to think you are. You can walk away each time you say, "Today you will clean your room" and just repeat and turn your back while the raging goes on. It will be horrid but you will come out more composed and he will be bewildered why he couldn't get you to that angry point that he is looking for. He is old enough for you to leave the house - take a walk in the neighborhood. </p><p> </p><p>This may take a long time (up to an hour or more) while he goes through every manipulation trick to get you off the subject of what he is suppose to do and onto the subject of what a terrible mom he wants you to think he is. Stay strong. It is very good that HE has figured out what is going on. That often times really does help in the controlling of the behavior. Even though it is super hard to hear, it will also give you strength to hold back as long as you can. You now know what his end goal is and you can do the best you can from helping him reach it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 371163, member: 5096"] I have also had my days of this behavior. It certainly is a manipulation to change the subject and he knows your emotions is the hot button to push. Try you best to keep the focus on the issue at hand. For example, if you had just asked him to clean his room it may start with, "difficult child, today I would like you to clean your room". He may start slow, "I don't have to do what you say," "difficult child, today you will clean your room". "You can't make me", "difficult child, today you will clean your room", "You are stupid", "Today you will clean your room". "Why do you make me so mad?" "Today you will clean your room", "If you didn't make me so mad all the time, I would be a better person!" "Today you will clean your room" ......................... See where this is going? It will be your focus point to keep him from turning the subject into how crazy he wants you to think you are. You can walk away each time you say, "Today you will clean your room" and just repeat and turn your back while the raging goes on. It will be horrid but you will come out more composed and he will be bewildered why he couldn't get you to that angry point that he is looking for. He is old enough for you to leave the house - take a walk in the neighborhood. This may take a long time (up to an hour or more) while he goes through every manipulation trick to get you off the subject of what he is suppose to do and onto the subject of what a terrible mom he wants you to think he is. Stay strong. It is very good that HE has figured out what is going on. That often times really does help in the controlling of the behavior. Even though it is super hard to hear, it will also give you strength to hold back as long as you can. You now know what his end goal is and you can do the best you can from helping him reach it. [/QUOTE]
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