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Need advice on two things
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 371175" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Loopholes... Maybe suggest he become a lawyer? Onyxx is spectacular at this. And it makes her ***CRAZY*** when we don't engage (working on this still!)...</p><p> </p><p>Her latest favorite thing to do is tell my friend H that she should be allowed to do whatever she wants, <strong><em>like an adult</em></strong> because she has had the responsibility of an adult for so long (took care of both younger siblings while with BM). H got her good. Adults are <strong><em>not</em> </strong>allowed to do whatever they want. Onyxx argued that, though - till H looked her in the eye and said, "I don't know why you're asking me for help if you won't listen when I try," and walked off. (I was within hearing distance... I was amused...)</p><p> </p><p>But, like your son, there's an argument for everything. Logic and reason do NOT prevail. If we refuse to argue, it's because ...we know she's right...; if we do argue, she escalates. So now? I do my best to say, "If that's how you feel, sweetheart," and walk away.</p><p> </p><p>As for chores - our list gets ignored. Same chores, day in and out. Same schedule. Still gets ignored. So... For Onyxx... I can't DO anything for her, because chores aren't done... Jett is driven by his allowance, though he does not see it (it's virtual, thanks to his sister stealing it repeatedly - even when his bank was IN MY DRESSER) - so when he asked how much he had last, I told him - NOTHING - because you have not been doing your chores - and what you saved up went to pay the people that DID do them (that would be ME and husband). Having a list may help your son, but it's just another thing on the fridge at our house.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 371175, member: 6705"] Loopholes... Maybe suggest he become a lawyer? Onyxx is spectacular at this. And it makes her ***CRAZY*** when we don't engage (working on this still!)... Her latest favorite thing to do is tell my friend H that she should be allowed to do whatever she wants, [B][I]like an adult[/I][/B] because she has had the responsibility of an adult for so long (took care of both younger siblings while with BM). H got her good. Adults are [B][I]not[/I] [/B]allowed to do whatever they want. Onyxx argued that, though - till H looked her in the eye and said, "I don't know why you're asking me for help if you won't listen when I try," and walked off. (I was within hearing distance... I was amused...) But, like your son, there's an argument for everything. Logic and reason do NOT prevail. If we refuse to argue, it's because ...we know she's right...; if we do argue, she escalates. So now? I do my best to say, "If that's how you feel, sweetheart," and walk away. As for chores - our list gets ignored. Same chores, day in and out. Same schedule. Still gets ignored. So... For Onyxx... I can't DO anything for her, because chores aren't done... Jett is driven by his allowance, though he does not see it (it's virtual, thanks to his sister stealing it repeatedly - even when his bank was IN MY DRESSER) - so when he asked how much he had last, I told him - NOTHING - because you have not been doing your chores - and what you saved up went to pay the people that DID do them (that would be ME and husband). Having a list may help your son, but it's just another thing on the fridge at our house. [/QUOTE]
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