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Need advice on two things
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<blockquote data-quote="Jojara" data-source="post: 371279" data-attributes="member: 6475"><p>You are soooo not a fruit-loop. These things truly make me wonder why Im not the one on the medication sometimes!!! </p><p> </p><p>For chores I had to lay it out on paper to avoid the fights. I have a chore schedule, and doing chores is the ONLY way he can earn time to play video games (that includes computer/ipod/xbox/etc). There are rules to this though. Such as- the chore listed on the chart has to be done by a certain time, and if I determine it was done well he can have 1 hour of video game time/ he can do additional chores and be compensated in video game time (1/2 hr chores=1/2 hour video games). No more fights about it- even if he chooses not to do his chores, he has a pre-determined consequence by not having any video game time (which he hates).</p><p> </p><p>Then there is the arguing thing. I had to learn new skills when my difficult child was in residential treatment over 6 months. We still struggle here too, but here is how we do it. I use the Magic 1-2-3 ideology. This means, I explain clearly what I want and then when he argues.....I dont respond except by saying '1'. If he continues to argue...(I have to work really hard to keep my emotions out of it- and not give into his baiting) then he gets a '2'.....if he keeps on- its a '3'. At 3 he is given a 'level drop'. What that means to us is that now he owes me one hour of time- where he has to not participate with the family, no tv, no ANYTHING, he can basically sit in his room and read. The hour doesnt start until he has chilled and is quiet. It sounds so simple, but its really hard sometimes not to engage. It works soooo well for my son. There are other level things, but for arguing this is how we do it.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck!!! hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jojara, post: 371279, member: 6475"] You are soooo not a fruit-loop. These things truly make me wonder why Im not the one on the medication sometimes!!! For chores I had to lay it out on paper to avoid the fights. I have a chore schedule, and doing chores is the ONLY way he can earn time to play video games (that includes computer/ipod/xbox/etc). There are rules to this though. Such as- the chore listed on the chart has to be done by a certain time, and if I determine it was done well he can have 1 hour of video game time/ he can do additional chores and be compensated in video game time (1/2 hr chores=1/2 hour video games). No more fights about it- even if he chooses not to do his chores, he has a pre-determined consequence by not having any video game time (which he hates). Then there is the arguing thing. I had to learn new skills when my difficult child was in residential treatment over 6 months. We still struggle here too, but here is how we do it. I use the Magic 1-2-3 ideology. This means, I explain clearly what I want and then when he argues.....I dont respond except by saying '1'. If he continues to argue...(I have to work really hard to keep my emotions out of it- and not give into his baiting) then he gets a '2'.....if he keeps on- its a '3'. At 3 he is given a 'level drop'. What that means to us is that now he owes me one hour of time- where he has to not participate with the family, no tv, no ANYTHING, he can basically sit in his room and read. The hour doesnt start until he has chilled and is quiet. It sounds so simple, but its really hard sometimes not to engage. It works soooo well for my son. There are other level things, but for arguing this is how we do it. Good luck!!! hugs! [/QUOTE]
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