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Need advice, regarding my 19 year old who smokes pot
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 493332"><p>David - Welcome. I too have been there done that. My son is 20 and is currently in a sober house/rehab place out of state. He has yet to make it to college having barely graduated high school. So these are my thoughts given my experiences with my son.</p><p></p><p>Yes there are ways to get around drug tests... we did home tests for awhile and our son would actually pee in a bottle when he was clean, and then save it and use it on drug tests. Disgusting to find bottles of urine later in his room!! We eventually figured that out and patted him down and checked him before hand... but even then I think he found ways.So a clean drug test is falsly reassuring and although pot stays in your system for a month other things are nuch shorter... so he may just switch his drug of choice... alcohol being readily available on most college campuses. And there are plenty of OTC drugs that can get you high, such as robitussen. Our son used that quite a bit too. </p><p></p><p>And there are kids who can smoke pot and drink in their college years, and still do well in school and in their lives. My son is not one of them but there are kids who still do ok. So I think I would make it less about his pot use and more about how he is doing in his life.... how are his grades. Is he working and motivated etc. I would make tuition payment contigentn on him continuing to do well in school. I don't think a heavy pot smoker can do well in school... only a casual pot smoker can. I might however tell him given that he is smoking a lot of pot and you are concerned about the issues of driving under the influence, I would stop paying any car expenses. Really you probably should do that for everyones safety and your own peace of mind if something were to happen.</p><p></p><p>Reality is ultimatums don't work, you can't force him to stop using. That really has to come from him and it may be him hitting bottom to do that. I know for my son we had to really let him hit bottom before he started getting help for himself.. and I am still probably helping him too much.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 493332"] David - Welcome. I too have been there done that. My son is 20 and is currently in a sober house/rehab place out of state. He has yet to make it to college having barely graduated high school. So these are my thoughts given my experiences with my son. Yes there are ways to get around drug tests... we did home tests for awhile and our son would actually pee in a bottle when he was clean, and then save it and use it on drug tests. Disgusting to find bottles of urine later in his room!! We eventually figured that out and patted him down and checked him before hand... but even then I think he found ways.So a clean drug test is falsly reassuring and although pot stays in your system for a month other things are nuch shorter... so he may just switch his drug of choice... alcohol being readily available on most college campuses. And there are plenty of OTC drugs that can get you high, such as robitussen. Our son used that quite a bit too. And there are kids who can smoke pot and drink in their college years, and still do well in school and in their lives. My son is not one of them but there are kids who still do ok. So I think I would make it less about his pot use and more about how he is doing in his life.... how are his grades. Is he working and motivated etc. I would make tuition payment contigentn on him continuing to do well in school. I don't think a heavy pot smoker can do well in school... only a casual pot smoker can. I might however tell him given that he is smoking a lot of pot and you are concerned about the issues of driving under the influence, I would stop paying any car expenses. Really you probably should do that for everyones safety and your own peace of mind if something were to happen. Reality is ultimatums don't work, you can't force him to stop using. That really has to come from him and it may be him hitting bottom to do that. I know for my son we had to really let him hit bottom before he started getting help for himself.. and I am still probably helping him too much. TL [/QUOTE]
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Need advice, regarding my 19 year old who smokes pot
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