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NEED ADVICE talked to difficult child's PO today!
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<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 13669" data-attributes="member: 97"><p>I do believe in the power of prayer and that it has helped my son, put things and people in his path to help him. however, I have to further clarify some of witzend's comments, I quote her and add my own remarks below hers:</p><p></p><p>"I'd like to remind you that Ant spent - what was it, Janet - two years in jail before he came home, and that was his choice."</p><p></p><p>It was not his choice. it was a sentence imposed that he came home to face due to three underage DUI's. </p><p></p><p>"And how many times did Janet bail him out and let him come back home before society finally said enough was enough? </p><p></p><p>I bailed him out one time only, long before any of the "big" stuff-when he was still 18. he then went to his gramma's. I have not let him live in my home from age 18 to age 23 except for one week when his son was born. believe me ...."society" is a myth. it is very hard to get into jail. they are crowded and most times they let you off too easy. you get many chances unless it is a major felony. ant's problem was multiple law evasions, not paying his fines and not showing for hearings after the initial charges. </p><p></p><p>ant terrorized me many a time with threats, and once shoved me as I was calling 911 in fear from him. he never beat me but he swore and kicked walls, holes in doors, trashed his room, my screen door, other things on his way thru the house in a rage. but then again...drunk rages are unpredictable. I did call the cops on him time and again and he served part of his sentence in alleg co jail for the issue of shoving me that night. I was not injured.</p><p></p><p>if I did not think ant was truly contrite, I would not take him in. he also knew he would work from his first day out, pay rent and pitch in. in 5 months he has not failed to do so. the first time he shows any sign of his evil twin...he is out. </p><p></p><p>I also have the back up of having his police officer brother and my boyfriend living with me. Ant's dad was a co-conspirator with ant. I had no support or backup. my other son and I could not control ant when he dad was enabling.</p><p></p><p> boyfriend and my older son are like me...zero tolerance. so, ant has to comply because if I didnt throw him out, they would if need be with no one to take his part and he knows it. </p><p></p><p>the other thing is Kaleb. ant loves him so much. </p><p></p><p>I am not saying ant will forever be fine, but for now he is, we will deal with what we have to if and when the time comes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 13669, member: 97"] I do believe in the power of prayer and that it has helped my son, put things and people in his path to help him. however, I have to further clarify some of witzend's comments, I quote her and add my own remarks below hers: "I'd like to remind you that Ant spent - what was it, Janet - two years in jail before he came home, and that was his choice." It was not his choice. it was a sentence imposed that he came home to face due to three underage DUI's. "And how many times did Janet bail him out and let him come back home before society finally said enough was enough? I bailed him out one time only, long before any of the "big" stuff-when he was still 18. he then went to his gramma's. I have not let him live in my home from age 18 to age 23 except for one week when his son was born. believe me ...."society" is a myth. it is very hard to get into jail. they are crowded and most times they let you off too easy. you get many chances unless it is a major felony. ant's problem was multiple law evasions, not paying his fines and not showing for hearings after the initial charges. ant terrorized me many a time with threats, and once shoved me as I was calling 911 in fear from him. he never beat me but he swore and kicked walls, holes in doors, trashed his room, my screen door, other things on his way thru the house in a rage. but then again...drunk rages are unpredictable. I did call the cops on him time and again and he served part of his sentence in alleg co jail for the issue of shoving me that night. I was not injured. if I did not think ant was truly contrite, I would not take him in. he also knew he would work from his first day out, pay rent and pitch in. in 5 months he has not failed to do so. the first time he shows any sign of his evil twin...he is out. I also have the back up of having his police officer brother and my boyfriend living with me. Ant's dad was a co-conspirator with ant. I had no support or backup. my other son and I could not control ant when he dad was enabling. boyfriend and my older son are like me...zero tolerance. so, ant has to comply because if I didnt throw him out, they would if need be with no one to take his part and he knows it. the other thing is Kaleb. ant loves him so much. I am not saying ant will forever be fine, but for now he is, we will deal with what we have to if and when the time comes. [/QUOTE]
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