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Need advice with what appears to be PASSIVE oppositional defiance disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="crazym&amp;p" data-source="post: 411836" data-attributes="member: 11277"><p>OK, I also have a child that I refer to as "passive ODD." difficult child 1, who actually has a diagnosis of ODD, started out this way. She never <em>refused</em> to do anything - she just didn't do it. She ignored. She would even say "OK," then never do what she was asked. Eventually it escalated to refusing. When she was prompted over and over again, she pretended she didn't know she was supposed to do it. She is intellectually gifted, but would say "Really?" very innocently whenever I reminded her that she had ignored 4 or 5 prompts to take a shower. I completely understand your frustration. The only thing that I found to be helpful was using natural consequences. Another poster referred to this - when she refuses to put her shoes on, offer her a choice of putting them on or going to school barefoot (this works especially well in the winter <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> If she "can't find" her backpack, let her go to school and explain that to the teacher. The key is that you have to get the school on board with you - if it works there you won't make any progress. Make sure they know she is completely capable, not "prompt-dependent," and should be allowed to suffer natural consequences. </p><p></p><p>To those who are repeating the TEC mantra of "if they can do well, they will," I don't agree in this case. This is not an explosive child. I have a child who is both explosive and also has these passive ODD behaviors - they are not the same. There are times when they can't tolerate frustration, but there are other times when behaviors are planned and intentional. This is just my opinion, obviously, but this has been my experience.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="crazym&p, post: 411836, member: 11277"] OK, I also have a child that I refer to as "passive ODD." difficult child 1, who actually has a diagnosis of ODD, started out this way. She never [I]refused[/I] to do anything - she just didn't do it. She ignored. She would even say "OK," then never do what she was asked. Eventually it escalated to refusing. When she was prompted over and over again, she pretended she didn't know she was supposed to do it. She is intellectually gifted, but would say "Really?" very innocently whenever I reminded her that she had ignored 4 or 5 prompts to take a shower. I completely understand your frustration. The only thing that I found to be helpful was using natural consequences. Another poster referred to this - when she refuses to put her shoes on, offer her a choice of putting them on or going to school barefoot (this works especially well in the winter :) If she "can't find" her backpack, let her go to school and explain that to the teacher. The key is that you have to get the school on board with you - if it works there you won't make any progress. Make sure they know she is completely capable, not "prompt-dependent," and should be allowed to suffer natural consequences. To those who are repeating the TEC mantra of "if they can do well, they will," I don't agree in this case. This is not an explosive child. I have a child who is both explosive and also has these passive ODD behaviors - they are not the same. There are times when they can't tolerate frustration, but there are other times when behaviors are planned and intentional. This is just my opinion, obviously, but this has been my experience. [/QUOTE]
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Need advice with what appears to be PASSIVE oppositional defiance disorder
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