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<blockquote data-quote="TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow" data-source="post: 381565" data-attributes="member: 8405"><p>You're so right VA... it seems this is the lesson I keep needing to learn. </p><p></p><p>"Kids" today say <span style="font-size: 22px">"there will always be haters" </span> </p><p>I like to combine that with the saying from a few decades ago... <span style="font-size: 22px">"don't let the turkeys keep you down!" </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 22px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 18px">Flower, your experience with your step is scarily similar to our experience with our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) adoptees!!!! </span></p><p></p><p>Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is the common factor of our experiences. Our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids are behaving in perfect accordance with their mental illness. </p><p></p><p>Our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)-kids are enjoying their celebrity among our local church community so much so that they don't want to make it appear they have been lying. They have chosen not to have any form of contact with us. </p><p></p><p>I figure once the local village imbeciles get tired of our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)-kid's clown act and elephant dung, the show will eventually close down. </p><p></p><p>Hopefully then our RADs will be better able to step toward mental health. </p><p></p><p>You are a step ahead of us with your Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kid. She's wanting to come home. At least that's what she thinks she wants. </p><p></p><p>My faith teaches me that I need to forgive... </p><p></p><p>My husband and I truly love these kids that are being so horrible to us.</p><p></p><p>We look cautiously forward to what restoration of relationship will be like with our beloved barely adult children. </p><p></p><p>We truly believe "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." And we know that for us, forgiveness is not optional. </p><p></p><p>HOWEVER;</p><p></p><p>No (eternal) condemnation DOES NOT mean there are not earthly consequences. </p><p></p><p>husband and I are prayerfully considering how we can tread the fine line of walking out our decision to forgive our RADkids ... and protecting ourselves. </p><p></p><p>Just like there was NO INFORMATION for parenting young Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids when our older adoptee was diagnosed 15 years ago... there is currently NO INFORMATION (that I have been able to find at least) regarding successful parenting strategies for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) in young adults. Our generation will be the ones educating those bravely loving and parenting Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) young adults of the future. </p><p></p><p>I really believe (at this point anyway...) that "restoration" of whatever kind of relationship we can ever hope to have with our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids will most probably NEVER include having them live with us as adults. </p><p></p><p>I believe that is a consequence that appropriately fits their Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) inspired choices to attack us. </p><p></p><p>I believe it is beneficial to do everything you can to educate your step-daughter about her mental illness. There is so much information available. </p><p></p><p>Sending hugs, encouragement and extra layers of rhino-skin.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow, post: 381565, member: 8405"] You're so right VA... it seems this is the lesson I keep needing to learn. "Kids" today say [SIZE=6]"there will always be haters" [/SIZE] I like to combine that with the saying from a few decades ago... [SIZE=6]"don't let the turkeys keep you down!" [/SIZE] [SIZE=5]Flower, your experience with your step is scarily similar to our experience with our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) adoptees!!!! [/SIZE] Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is the common factor of our experiences. Our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids are behaving in perfect accordance with their mental illness. Our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)-kids are enjoying their celebrity among our local church community so much so that they don't want to make it appear they have been lying. They have chosen not to have any form of contact with us. I figure once the local village imbeciles get tired of our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)-kid's clown act and elephant dung, the show will eventually close down. Hopefully then our RADs will be better able to step toward mental health. You are a step ahead of us with your Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kid. She's wanting to come home. At least that's what she thinks she wants. My faith teaches me that I need to forgive... My husband and I truly love these kids that are being so horrible to us. We look cautiously forward to what restoration of relationship will be like with our beloved barely adult children. We truly believe "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." And we know that for us, forgiveness is not optional. HOWEVER; No (eternal) condemnation DOES NOT mean there are not earthly consequences. husband and I are prayerfully considering how we can tread the fine line of walking out our decision to forgive our RADkids ... and protecting ourselves. Just like there was NO INFORMATION for parenting young Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids when our older adoptee was diagnosed 15 years ago... there is currently NO INFORMATION (that I have been able to find at least) regarding successful parenting strategies for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) in young adults. Our generation will be the ones educating those bravely loving and parenting Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) young adults of the future. I really believe (at this point anyway...) that "restoration" of whatever kind of relationship we can ever hope to have with our Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids will most probably NEVER include having them live with us as adults. I believe that is a consequence that appropriately fits their Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) inspired choices to attack us. I believe it is beneficial to do everything you can to educate your step-daughter about her mental illness. There is so much information available. Sending hugs, encouragement and extra layers of rhino-skin. [/QUOTE]
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