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<blockquote data-quote="HMBgal" data-source="post: 689263" data-attributes="member: 13260"><p>Phew! It seems like a lot got dumped on your plate. As a grandparent of a grandson with mental health issues, my husband and I, who spend more time with him than either of his divorced parents, have had to learn and fast. It has been hard to unlearn all that we've learned for my husband and me. I did it faster than my husband because I'm a Special Education teacher and had to learn to get my credential. But, to see my husband turn from one of those judgmental old codgers to someone who will advocate for grandson, talk about it with others and share (this was WAY against his nature and upbringing) has been wonderful. He did get a kickstart on this when his daughter came out as gay, got married to a woman and had a baby, now 11. (This is my second husband--for 35 years now--and I brought three kids and he brought two kids in the marriage, no kids between us). </p><p></p><p>For us, it was reading books, taking grandson to his therapy meetings (always held while parents are at work--why is that?), and keeping our minds and hearts open. And I'm not saying this to be flippant, but girls that age seem to be challenging just because, and bi-polar seems to be a particularly challenging diagnosis to adjust to. And they are trying out their influence over others. Having everyone on the same page seems to be really hard. We can't get grandson's father on the same page at all, nor the other grandparents. But, we've got the school, My husband and myself, and the therapists. We can't get everyone on board because that is their choice not to do the work (and patience) that it takes. Grandson is only 9 (almost 10) and I shudder to think what is coming our way. But, because we've been dealing with this for quite awhile now, we kind of know what roles people play and are willing to play. I hope I get surprised someday and see some people in grandson's life step up, but I can't make that happen. </p><p></p><p>And you will get some great advice here. It's all given through our own experiences, of course, so take what works, consider the rest. And welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HMBgal, post: 689263, member: 13260"] Phew! It seems like a lot got dumped on your plate. As a grandparent of a grandson with mental health issues, my husband and I, who spend more time with him than either of his divorced parents, have had to learn and fast. It has been hard to unlearn all that we've learned for my husband and me. I did it faster than my husband because I'm a Special Education teacher and had to learn to get my credential. But, to see my husband turn from one of those judgmental old codgers to someone who will advocate for grandson, talk about it with others and share (this was WAY against his nature and upbringing) has been wonderful. He did get a kickstart on this when his daughter came out as gay, got married to a woman and had a baby, now 11. (This is my second husband--for 35 years now--and I brought three kids and he brought two kids in the marriage, no kids between us). For us, it was reading books, taking grandson to his therapy meetings (always held while parents are at work--why is that?), and keeping our minds and hearts open. And I'm not saying this to be flippant, but girls that age seem to be challenging just because, and bi-polar seems to be a particularly challenging diagnosis to adjust to. And they are trying out their influence over others. Having everyone on the same page seems to be really hard. We can't get grandson's father on the same page at all, nor the other grandparents. But, we've got the school, My husband and myself, and the therapists. We can't get everyone on board because that is their choice not to do the work (and patience) that it takes. Grandson is only 9 (almost 10) and I shudder to think what is coming our way. But, because we've been dealing with this for quite awhile now, we kind of know what roles people play and are willing to play. I hope I get surprised someday and see some people in grandson's life step up, but I can't make that happen. And you will get some great advice here. It's all given through our own experiences, of course, so take what works, consider the rest. And welcome. [/QUOTE]
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