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Substance Abuse
Need advise about vacation
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 689920" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>The issue right now is only about the trip. That is all. These patterns in your marriage to which you refer are long-standing and they will not be decided based upon the trip or based upon your decision about the trip. You can decide what ever you want to now. And leave all of the rest of it to deal with when you return.</p><p></p><p>If your husband gives you a cold shoulder, it is nothing new. It is on him.</p><p></p><p>Your son's knowledge of and belief in your love for him will not hinge on one trip. Or should not. He knows he has acted the jerk.</p><p></p><p>You cannot be held hostage by either one of these men. You are important in yourself. Vitally important.</p><p></p><p>These things happen in blended families. Clear communication is particularly important, here.</p><p></p><p>You know, there could be a win-win in this. You might use this situation to begin to heal, by speaking up for yourself and what you need and want, which is a nice trip. You have a right to a nice trip. Bringing your son along will not retroactively remedy any perceived slights he may feel, or any guilt you may feel. All of that can be separate from this trip. Nothing has to be proven. By anybody. It is just one trip.</p><p></p><p>I have no doubt in my mind that you are capable of helping your husband and your son heal, and your family heal, by beginning now, to let what is past, be past, and what is now, be now. If you decide to focus upon today, everybody gets to be forgiven. Even you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 689920, member: 18958"] The issue right now is only about the trip. That is all. These patterns in your marriage to which you refer are long-standing and they will not be decided based upon the trip or based upon your decision about the trip. You can decide what ever you want to now. And leave all of the rest of it to deal with when you return. If your husband gives you a cold shoulder, it is nothing new. It is on him. Your son's knowledge of and belief in your love for him will not hinge on one trip. Or should not. He knows he has acted the jerk. You cannot be held hostage by either one of these men. You are important in yourself. Vitally important. These things happen in blended families. Clear communication is particularly important, here. You know, there could be a win-win in this. You might use this situation to begin to heal, by speaking up for yourself and what you need and want, which is a nice trip. You have a right to a nice trip. Bringing your son along will not retroactively remedy any perceived slights he may feel, or any guilt you may feel. All of that can be separate from this trip. Nothing has to be proven. By anybody. It is just one trip. I have no doubt in my mind that you are capable of helping your husband and your son heal, and your family heal, by beginning now, to let what is past, be past, and what is now, be now. If you decide to focus upon today, everybody gets to be forgiven. Even you. [/QUOTE]
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