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Need advise about vacation
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 689972" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I agree with Iron. A family vacation does not in my opinion include a grown kid who pays no bills and causes strife and I would say no. Often, we go to Chicago to see my grandbaby with Sonic and Jumper and they both insist on helping to pay for their hotel rooms. They are also 100% assured not to cause trouble, do drugs or test rules. There is no guarantee with this other child.</p><p></p><p>Sisters keeper, I almost always feel your advice is top notch. You are a smart, awesome lady who saved the day for three struggling young kids. But this one time I must disagree. You don't have adult kids yet. Of course minor children should go on family vacations. But I would not include an adult child who causes marital discord and is not a good example to the younger ones.</p><p></p><p>It does not seem he even knows if he wants to go. I say, if he wants to go, get a temp job and he cal buy his own ticket.</p><p></p><p>We don't make Sonic or Jumper pay 100% but they want to and are a guaranteed joy to have around.</p><p></p><p>To me minor children are different from adult kids. Has this adult child offered to try to pay a part toward his ticket, room, food? That matters too to many of us.</p><p></p><p>I feel, and don't know if anyone agrees with me or not, but once a grown kid is grown, the husband, who will be there to the end, should come first. I personally would not put my marriage to an adult kid who should be old enough to be trusted and who can't or won't pay even some of the expenses.</p><p></p><p>Jumper is only 20 and Sonic is 22. Neither are rich, but they work hard and like to contribute.</p><p></p><p>I'm also not convinced Son will really be hurt. He has been wishy washy about going. My parents and younger sibs went to Florida twice when I was in high school I could have gone, but I didn't want to go and had more fun at home. It wasn't hurtful. I had no desire to hang out with my family at my age. So neither you or me knows how much he wants to go or if he will be hurt. If he goes, hub will feel his feelings are disregarded...you can't please everyone. Nobody can. Nor should we try.</p><p></p><p>In my opinion, too many parents are actually afraid to contradict even horrible acting adult children I decided. Some are afraid that if they wont do their bidding, their kids won't love them. That must be an awful way to live. Their kids don't really love them anyway if they put conditions on that love.</p><p></p><p>As always JMO.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 689972, member: 1550"] I agree with Iron. A family vacation does not in my opinion include a grown kid who pays no bills and causes strife and I would say no. Often, we go to Chicago to see my grandbaby with Sonic and Jumper and they both insist on helping to pay for their hotel rooms. They are also 100% assured not to cause trouble, do drugs or test rules. There is no guarantee with this other child. Sisters keeper, I almost always feel your advice is top notch. You are a smart, awesome lady who saved the day for three struggling young kids. But this one time I must disagree. You don't have adult kids yet. Of course minor children should go on family vacations. But I would not include an adult child who causes marital discord and is not a good example to the younger ones. It does not seem he even knows if he wants to go. I say, if he wants to go, get a temp job and he cal buy his own ticket. We don't make Sonic or Jumper pay 100% but they want to and are a guaranteed joy to have around. To me minor children are different from adult kids. Has this adult child offered to try to pay a part toward his ticket, room, food? That matters too to many of us. I feel, and don't know if anyone agrees with me or not, but once a grown kid is grown, the husband, who will be there to the end, should come first. I personally would not put my marriage to an adult kid who should be old enough to be trusted and who can't or won't pay even some of the expenses. Jumper is only 20 and Sonic is 22. Neither are rich, but they work hard and like to contribute. I'm also not convinced Son will really be hurt. He has been wishy washy about going. My parents and younger sibs went to Florida twice when I was in high school I could have gone, but I didn't want to go and had more fun at home. It wasn't hurtful. I had no desire to hang out with my family at my age. So neither you or me knows how much he wants to go or if he will be hurt. If he goes, hub will feel his feelings are disregarded...you can't please everyone. Nobody can. Nor should we try. In my opinion, too many parents are actually afraid to contradict even horrible acting adult children I decided. Some are afraid that if they wont do their bidding, their kids won't love them. That must be an awful way to live. Their kids don't really love them anyway if they put conditions on that love. As always JMO. [/QUOTE]
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