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Need board moms to help me help my adult married son (in faltering marriage)
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<blockquote data-quote="dun4" data-source="post: 299355" data-attributes="member: 7792"><p>I'm divorced so obviously have no suggestions for saving the marriage. I am a pessimist where it comes to relationships. So take what I say with a pound of salt. I can't help but wonder if the daughter in law decided she wanted out, and latched on your son's challenges as an excuse to end the marriage, in which case there's little your son can do. My easy child finished a custody case last January. I've heard that in some states the parent that initiates the custody case can sometimes get some "extra credit" in the eyes of the judge. I do not know if this is true. It didn't help my son. One thing that is of major importance is who's been the primary caregiver to the child. If both parents work then your son should have equal chance in that category. I would recommend that if he hasn't been, have him begin doing half the childrearing chores (baths, feeding, dressing, bed time). Our lawyer recommended documenting everything and having as much contact with the child as possible. (My son didn't live with the mother.) Here it's legal to record conversations as long as the person doing the recording is involved in the conversation. My son bought a digital recorder at Radio Shack about the size of a pack of cigarettes. He carried it whenever he was around the mother of my grandson and recorded everything. </p><p> </p><p>I have just finished going thru this with my easy child and may soon do so with my difficult child so my heart goes out to you! It is emotional torture but it does end. I now get to see my 2 yr old grandson every Wednesday and every other Saturday when my son has custody. If it goes to the point of lawyers, make sure you get one with a reputation for getting men custody. I wouldn't settle for the traditional every other weekend. Ask for a midweek visit too. Children need frequent access to both parents for bonding. My son gets every Wednesday afternoon and evening plus the usual weekend visits. There is also a new thing called "First Right of Refusal" that means if the custodial parent needs a baby sitter the noncustodial parent gets asked first before anyone else is asked.</p><p> </p><p>I liked acfc website, American Coalition for Fathers and Children. Hope this helps, hang it there!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dun4, post: 299355, member: 7792"] I'm divorced so obviously have no suggestions for saving the marriage. I am a pessimist where it comes to relationships. So take what I say with a pound of salt. I can't help but wonder if the daughter in law decided she wanted out, and latched on your son's challenges as an excuse to end the marriage, in which case there's little your son can do. My easy child finished a custody case last January. I've heard that in some states the parent that initiates the custody case can sometimes get some "extra credit" in the eyes of the judge. I do not know if this is true. It didn't help my son. One thing that is of major importance is who's been the primary caregiver to the child. If both parents work then your son should have equal chance in that category. I would recommend that if he hasn't been, have him begin doing half the childrearing chores (baths, feeding, dressing, bed time). Our lawyer recommended documenting everything and having as much contact with the child as possible. (My son didn't live with the mother.) Here it's legal to record conversations as long as the person doing the recording is involved in the conversation. My son bought a digital recorder at Radio Shack about the size of a pack of cigarettes. He carried it whenever he was around the mother of my grandson and recorded everything. I have just finished going thru this with my easy child and may soon do so with my difficult child so my heart goes out to you! It is emotional torture but it does end. I now get to see my 2 yr old grandson every Wednesday and every other Saturday when my son has custody. If it goes to the point of lawyers, make sure you get one with a reputation for getting men custody. I wouldn't settle for the traditional every other weekend. Ask for a midweek visit too. Children need frequent access to both parents for bonding. My son gets every Wednesday afternoon and evening plus the usual weekend visits. There is also a new thing called "First Right of Refusal" that means if the custodial parent needs a baby sitter the noncustodial parent gets asked first before anyone else is asked. I liked acfc website, American Coalition for Fathers and Children. Hope this helps, hang it there! [/QUOTE]
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Need board moms to help me help my adult married son (in faltering marriage)
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