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Need help adult daughter wont talk to me.
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 533777" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Dot - </p><p></p><p>I'm glad you made it through today with YOUR head held high because your daughters head should have been somewhere between the ground and the bottom of her shoes in a manner of respect for how you Honor your Mother and Your Father. (Rule # 5 Old Testament) </p><p></p><p>I think and know that the description you have given your daughter - the frizzy hair and the overly made up, - and the part about I wish them nothing but unhappiness? (all bricks) It's more defense to keep yourself safe. And actually - it's not a bad defense when you don't know anything better. THERAPY will teach you WAY better coping skills that allows you to NOT carry around such heavy burdens and teach you how to allow those particular things to not drag around with YOU. Sounds almost impossible doesn't it? Right now? You are so raw, and so angry and well - you have a right to be angry - but how you deal with that ANGER is a matter of HOW the world will percieve you - and how you live with yourself. In time - and with help - you're going to learn mechanisms to deal with what happens when.......and how to forgive and move on so that her problems don't become your burdens. </p><p></p><p>It won't be so much that she's dead to you - Because that's hate....and depression. But it will be a healthy attitude of "You know what folks? I did everything I could, I made mistakes, and when I realized I made mistakes I did EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY COULD to correct them - and NOW? I'm living my life on my terms, with the knowledge that you move forward one, step, at, a time - and learn from those mistakes - improve yourself as much as you can - and evolve every day - until you die. Set an example for yourself, your children, your friends and BE a reflection of the person you most admire in your life. - I personally dot - fall so short of that every day - but I get up every day - ask for His forgiveness - and move on trying each and every day to do it better just one more time - if he'll let me. </p><p></p><p>You CAN do this - YOU CAN put this pain behind you - YOU CAN BE ....happy, and you wouldn't have been directed to come here, and meet all of us -------and STAY ON -----even when the first posts hurt so badly - if it hadn't been all part of your life. SO there's a reason you sought us out.....there's a reason you will continue to improve and a reason you will continue to work and improve yourself and maybe - who knows what is out there for you - A promotion - a rekindled romance with your husband - a divorce and a new husband - a new home - a new car - WHO KNOWS - but once your attitude starts changing.........THINGS start to fall into place and you literally feel things MOVE around you - and you just start to think better, eat better, and want better people around you - and it's contageous. BUT .........it takes work. And....it does NOT happen over night.......KNOW ---------that there will be worse days -----while you're working because you are going to clean out 50 some odd years of BAD STORAGE.....in your brain -----because everything we see, hear, touch, smell, and feel whether we are conscious of it or NOT........gets stored chemically and digitally in our brains and it's ALL UP THERE in the gigantic warehouse in our brains - and that's what you and the therapists get to sift through and get rid of .........and throw out, sort, keep, re-sort and like philo dough - uncover things that you may not even be aware are there......that have caused you to turn one way or another and create things in your life to go -----bad, sad, mad or turn you into a cynic, or needy, or mean.....or no emotional feelings at all - or hide behind a brick wall to feel safe. It's all up there. GO GET EM GIRL!!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr! </p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>EXTRA HUG - EXTRA HUG - EXTRA HUG - RASPBERRY (cuz I can) <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/flirtysmile3.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":flirtysmile3:" title="flirtysmile3 :flirtysmile3:" data-shortname=":flirtysmile3:" /></p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 533777, member: 4964"] Dot - I'm glad you made it through today with YOUR head held high because your daughters head should have been somewhere between the ground and the bottom of her shoes in a manner of respect for how you Honor your Mother and Your Father. (Rule # 5 Old Testament) I think and know that the description you have given your daughter - the frizzy hair and the overly made up, - and the part about I wish them nothing but unhappiness? (all bricks) It's more defense to keep yourself safe. And actually - it's not a bad defense when you don't know anything better. THERAPY will teach you WAY better coping skills that allows you to NOT carry around such heavy burdens and teach you how to allow those particular things to not drag around with YOU. Sounds almost impossible doesn't it? Right now? You are so raw, and so angry and well - you have a right to be angry - but how you deal with that ANGER is a matter of HOW the world will percieve you - and how you live with yourself. In time - and with help - you're going to learn mechanisms to deal with what happens when.......and how to forgive and move on so that her problems don't become your burdens. It won't be so much that she's dead to you - Because that's hate....and depression. But it will be a healthy attitude of "You know what folks? I did everything I could, I made mistakes, and when I realized I made mistakes I did EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY COULD to correct them - and NOW? I'm living my life on my terms, with the knowledge that you move forward one, step, at, a time - and learn from those mistakes - improve yourself as much as you can - and evolve every day - until you die. Set an example for yourself, your children, your friends and BE a reflection of the person you most admire in your life. - I personally dot - fall so short of that every day - but I get up every day - ask for His forgiveness - and move on trying each and every day to do it better just one more time - if he'll let me. You CAN do this - YOU CAN put this pain behind you - YOU CAN BE ....happy, and you wouldn't have been directed to come here, and meet all of us -------and STAY ON -----even when the first posts hurt so badly - if it hadn't been all part of your life. SO there's a reason you sought us out.....there's a reason you will continue to improve and a reason you will continue to work and improve yourself and maybe - who knows what is out there for you - A promotion - a rekindled romance with your husband - a divorce and a new husband - a new home - a new car - WHO KNOWS - but once your attitude starts changing.........THINGS start to fall into place and you literally feel things MOVE around you - and you just start to think better, eat better, and want better people around you - and it's contageous. BUT .........it takes work. And....it does NOT happen over night.......KNOW ---------that there will be worse days -----while you're working because you are going to clean out 50 some odd years of BAD STORAGE.....in your brain -----because everything we see, hear, touch, smell, and feel whether we are conscious of it or NOT........gets stored chemically and digitally in our brains and it's ALL UP THERE in the gigantic warehouse in our brains - and that's what you and the therapists get to sift through and get rid of .........and throw out, sort, keep, re-sort and like philo dough - uncover things that you may not even be aware are there......that have caused you to turn one way or another and create things in your life to go -----bad, sad, mad or turn you into a cynic, or needy, or mean.....or no emotional feelings at all - or hide behind a brick wall to feel safe. It's all up there. GO GET EM GIRL!!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Hugs & Love EXTRA HUG - EXTRA HUG - EXTRA HUG - RASPBERRY (cuz I can) :flirtysmile3: Star [/QUOTE]
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