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Need help adult daughter wont talk to me.
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<blockquote data-quote="dotty" data-source="post: 539144" data-attributes="member: 14148"><p>Thanks Leah. I, too, am in agreement that I just can't forget her and get on with my life. There isn't a day that I don't think about things and miss her from my life. She's the first thing I think about before I go to sleep at night and the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. Her boyfriend is a big part of the problem. She loves him. She lives with him and depends on him to pay for the roof over her head while she is still attending school. She has a 4.0 GPA! Says she is living there because she will not live with me and has nowhere else to go, which makes me so sad because she can always come home and would if it weren't for me. She hates me that much, but here's the clicker. Her boyfriend is making up fake texts and going to her and saying I sent them. I did not. She believes him and continues to hate me more and more. He is setting me up for things I didn't do because he knows that if she has any contact or relationship with me, she might go home, she might leave him, and he can't even fathom losing the control he has over her. So what can I do when I'm fighting that? He told me long ago that he was going to get a place of his own and she would be living with him and he promised me that I would NEVER EVER get her back. He even said she loves me and hates you and she will believe everything I tell her and nothing you say. Because I don't have the best relationship with my husband, he too believes her, so I have no support whatesoever. I have a restraining order...I have not texted him or contacted Bozo in any way, and for certain not anonymously. I value my freedom. He is insistent on keeping her hating me and he has done a wonderful job. I don't know how to turn the tide on that. I don't know how to make her believe I am not lying that he is. This is something she is just too blind to see. She is in serious trouble with a guy who goes through these lenghts to keep hold of her. It is not a healthy relationship, and I worry for my daughter with such a loser like this....yet there is nothing, absolutley nothing I can do about it. I pray every day. I go to thereapy every week. I'm on medications. Nothing has helped the pain.</p><p></p><p>The therapists feels as you do. No contact with her or keep it light if and when I do. She is not willing to have any part of me now, I know that, but I worry that things will never change as long as he's in control. He is setting me up to take the fall for things I have no part in doing and she doesn't believe me. How do I handle that?</p><p></p><p>Thanks for your words, your thoughts and your just reaching out to help. I appreciate the support here more than anyone knows because it is truly all that I have thse days <3</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dotty, post: 539144, member: 14148"] Thanks Leah. I, too, am in agreement that I just can't forget her and get on with my life. There isn't a day that I don't think about things and miss her from my life. She's the first thing I think about before I go to sleep at night and the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. Her boyfriend is a big part of the problem. She loves him. She lives with him and depends on him to pay for the roof over her head while she is still attending school. She has a 4.0 GPA! Says she is living there because she will not live with me and has nowhere else to go, which makes me so sad because she can always come home and would if it weren't for me. She hates me that much, but here's the clicker. Her boyfriend is making up fake texts and going to her and saying I sent them. I did not. She believes him and continues to hate me more and more. He is setting me up for things I didn't do because he knows that if she has any contact or relationship with me, she might go home, she might leave him, and he can't even fathom losing the control he has over her. So what can I do when I'm fighting that? He told me long ago that he was going to get a place of his own and she would be living with him and he promised me that I would NEVER EVER get her back. He even said she loves me and hates you and she will believe everything I tell her and nothing you say. Because I don't have the best relationship with my husband, he too believes her, so I have no support whatesoever. I have a restraining order...I have not texted him or contacted Bozo in any way, and for certain not anonymously. I value my freedom. He is insistent on keeping her hating me and he has done a wonderful job. I don't know how to turn the tide on that. I don't know how to make her believe I am not lying that he is. This is something she is just too blind to see. She is in serious trouble with a guy who goes through these lenghts to keep hold of her. It is not a healthy relationship, and I worry for my daughter with such a loser like this....yet there is nothing, absolutley nothing I can do about it. I pray every day. I go to thereapy every week. I'm on medications. Nothing has helped the pain. The therapists feels as you do. No contact with her or keep it light if and when I do. She is not willing to have any part of me now, I know that, but I worry that things will never change as long as he's in control. He is setting me up to take the fall for things I have no part in doing and she doesn't believe me. How do I handle that? Thanks for your words, your thoughts and your just reaching out to help. I appreciate the support here more than anyone knows because it is truly all that I have thse days <3 [/QUOTE]
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