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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 517679"><p>You're right, you are not alone. Do you document everything after the rage is over? Keeping track of specific details like what was she doing, what did you want her to do, how did you ask her, her overall mood during the day, sleep quantity and quality, etc. That is the types of things you need to keep track of and it's hard to do mentally. Writing it all down will help. difficult child 1 needs advanced warning of a change such as "shower time in 10 minutes" then 5 minutes later "5 minutes to shower time". I also try to coincide transitions around his activities. If he's watching something on TV, its "when this show is over you need to take a shower" or if he's playing a video game "when you're done with this level, you need to take a shower".</p><p></p><p>You really need to not engage and I know it is one of the hardest things to do but it really can work. If she wants you to spank her harder, my guess is she wants the physical pain to match the "pain" she's feeling. You need to refrain from any type of physical punishment and maybe from any type of physical contact at all until she's calm. Maybe she was abused in the orphanage? She could also have some severe attachment issues. She was in an orphanage during the most formidable years for learning to attach to caregivers. </p><p></p><p>Are YOU seeing a therapist? It might be worthwhile to find one for yourself that has experience with attachment disorders. </p><p></p><p>She sounds like a very complicataed little girl. What exactly were the results of the testing they did? If you don't have a copy, you need to get one. You need to know exactly what you're dealing with. She's on an awful lot of medications. Have you noticed that they have helped. For some kids, like mine, some medications can actually make things worse.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. We will support and help you all we can. Moreparents will be along probably tomorrow. There are many adoptive parents here also with unique experiences that might help. Check back often. {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to all three of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 517679"] You're right, you are not alone. Do you document everything after the rage is over? Keeping track of specific details like what was she doing, what did you want her to do, how did you ask her, her overall mood during the day, sleep quantity and quality, etc. That is the types of things you need to keep track of and it's hard to do mentally. Writing it all down will help. difficult child 1 needs advanced warning of a change such as "shower time in 10 minutes" then 5 minutes later "5 minutes to shower time". I also try to coincide transitions around his activities. If he's watching something on TV, its "when this show is over you need to take a shower" or if he's playing a video game "when you're done with this level, you need to take a shower". You really need to not engage and I know it is one of the hardest things to do but it really can work. If she wants you to spank her harder, my guess is she wants the physical pain to match the "pain" she's feeling. You need to refrain from any type of physical punishment and maybe from any type of physical contact at all until she's calm. Maybe she was abused in the orphanage? She could also have some severe attachment issues. She was in an orphanage during the most formidable years for learning to attach to caregivers. Are YOU seeing a therapist? It might be worthwhile to find one for yourself that has experience with attachment disorders. She sounds like a very complicataed little girl. What exactly were the results of the testing they did? If you don't have a copy, you need to get one. You need to know exactly what you're dealing with. She's on an awful lot of medications. Have you noticed that they have helped. For some kids, like mine, some medications can actually make things worse. Hang in there. We will support and help you all we can. Moreparents will be along probably tomorrow. There are many adoptive parents here also with unique experiences that might help. Check back often. {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to all three of you. [/QUOTE]
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