Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Need help and support
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 517699" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Adoptive mother also. We have adopted both internationally and locally. I know, from talking to other moms, that kids who come from Russia tend to have a very hard time because, rather than being in foster care, they are in orphanages where they are often allowed to lay all day with no cuddling or one-on-one caregiving...this leads to "orphanage syndrome" otherwise known as attachment disorder. There is a spectrum from mild to severe. Also, many kids from that region of the world tend to suffer from fetal alcohol affects. Sadly, it is very common in the kids I have met who are from there. Both of those things could be going on and you would need somebody who is very schooled in these problems to know if this is what is going on with your daughter. I suspect she is at least suffering from a form of attachment disorder, but she also may have a form of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I notice you have already thought of possible Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) so I would find a psychiatrist who understands both Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and Fetal alcohol spectrum. I have a son who was drug exposed at birth (so it's pretty certain his birthmother didn't say NO to alcohol either). He is on the autism spectrum, which substances in utero can cause. He is lucky it is not a lot worse than that too. </p><p></p><p>Attachment disorders can be treated. Fetal alcohol syndrome (mild or otherwise) is organic brain damage. Does she struggle in school? Does she remember something one day and seem to forget it the next? Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) kids are very impulsive with poor impulse control...it can be mistaken for ADHD. It's sort of like ADHD on steroids!</p><p></p><p>At any rate, I would get that neuropsychologist evaluation to see what you are dealing with (the whole nine yards) and then ask the neuropsychologist for a referral to somebody who is used to older adopted children who may have attachment and possible alcohol issues. But until you know what is going on, it is very hard to know what to do...it isn't your fault. Adding to this, our adopted kids from abroad often have no history so we can't give the professionals any genetic or in-utero history. It is harder...much harder...for adopted kids who come with no or little history to get correctly diagnosed and treated. </p><p></p><p>We adopted a child from Korea and one from Hong Kong. The child from Korea came at 5 months old and was carried on her foster mother's back and slept with her. She was very attached when we got her. My son from Hong Kong spsent his first six years in an orphanage. He never did attach to us. He was not a behavior problem...he kept it inside...but he was just very detached and inside he was a ticking time bomb. We did not understand this at the time and thought that because he acted ok on the surface that he WAS ok. Boy, were we wrong. He has left our family without a glance backwards. He is 35 now and we haven't seen him for six years. I don't even list him as a child of m ine anymore because he really isn't, not in his heart, and it hurts too much to put it down in black and white. Please get help early.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and good luck! I suggest reading </p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Hurt-Child-Adoptive-Families/dp/1576833143" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Hurt-Child-Adoptive-Families/dp/1576833143</a></p><p></p><p>This will help you with the attachment part of her problems, if indeed she has attachment problems (but she probably does). If she has alcohol issues too...that is another problem to tackle.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 517699, member: 1550"] Adoptive mother also. We have adopted both internationally and locally. I know, from talking to other moms, that kids who come from Russia tend to have a very hard time because, rather than being in foster care, they are in orphanages where they are often allowed to lay all day with no cuddling or one-on-one caregiving...this leads to "orphanage syndrome" otherwise known as attachment disorder. There is a spectrum from mild to severe. Also, many kids from that region of the world tend to suffer from fetal alcohol affects. Sadly, it is very common in the kids I have met who are from there. Both of those things could be going on and you would need somebody who is very schooled in these problems to know if this is what is going on with your daughter. I suspect she is at least suffering from a form of attachment disorder, but she also may have a form of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I notice you have already thought of possible Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) so I would find a psychiatrist who understands both Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and Fetal alcohol spectrum. I have a son who was drug exposed at birth (so it's pretty certain his birthmother didn't say NO to alcohol either). He is on the autism spectrum, which substances in utero can cause. He is lucky it is not a lot worse than that too. Attachment disorders can be treated. Fetal alcohol syndrome (mild or otherwise) is organic brain damage. Does she struggle in school? Does she remember something one day and seem to forget it the next? Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) kids are very impulsive with poor impulse control...it can be mistaken for ADHD. It's sort of like ADHD on steroids! At any rate, I would get that neuropsychologist evaluation to see what you are dealing with (the whole nine yards) and then ask the neuropsychologist for a referral to somebody who is used to older adopted children who may have attachment and possible alcohol issues. But until you know what is going on, it is very hard to know what to do...it isn't your fault. Adding to this, our adopted kids from abroad often have no history so we can't give the professionals any genetic or in-utero history. It is harder...much harder...for adopted kids who come with no or little history to get correctly diagnosed and treated. We adopted a child from Korea and one from Hong Kong. The child from Korea came at 5 months old and was carried on her foster mother's back and slept with her. She was very attached when we got her. My son from Hong Kong spsent his first six years in an orphanage. He never did attach to us. He was not a behavior problem...he kept it inside...but he was just very detached and inside he was a ticking time bomb. We did not understand this at the time and thought that because he acted ok on the surface that he WAS ok. Boy, were we wrong. He has left our family without a glance backwards. He is 35 now and we haven't seen him for six years. I don't even list him as a child of m ine anymore because he really isn't, not in his heart, and it hurts too much to put it down in black and white. Please get help early. Hugs and good luck! I suggest reading [URL]http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Hurt-Child-Adoptive-Families/dp/1576833143[/URL] This will help you with the attachment part of her problems, if indeed she has attachment problems (but she probably does). If she has alcohol issues too...that is another problem to tackle. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Need help and support
Top