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<blockquote data-quote="ThreeShadows" data-source="post: 517945" data-attributes="member: 6370"><p>We got our daughter from a Russian orphanage when she was 9 mos old. We were also told that she was such a happy baby. She came home and started to rage when she didn't get her way. I had to close the windows because I was afraid the neighbors would call the police. She tried to break down her bedroom door during time outs. She calmed down around age 4, put on a good face for us and the world. I wish she hadn't been so adept at hiding the damage to her soul. Now she is almost 16 y.o. and I realize that she has a huge hole in her psyche caused by those few months of emotional solitude.</p><p></p><p>She needs to be in control at ALL times. She will not accept hugs, she will give them to me when I least expect them, when my hands are greasy from doing dishes, etc..and I can't reciprocate.She only hugs from the back. We can't do any thing right: " I don't want 6 oreos for school, I want 5! I only want one slice of cheese on my sandwich". She is sneaky and manipulative. She breaks our heart on a daily basis. She was a cutter for over a year and we had no clue. She ended up in a psychiatric hospital. She accused one of us of molestation. We will never be a real family again.</p><p></p><p>I refuse to believe that months in an orphanage will leave no scars. She is a gorgeous blond, blue eyed girl and told me she feels revulsion when she looks in the mirror. We have worked very hard to create a loving, safe family. She actually behaves as if she resents us for having taken her out of her environment. Maybe it's survivor guilt as well as Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ThreeShadows, post: 517945, member: 6370"] We got our daughter from a Russian orphanage when she was 9 mos old. We were also told that she was such a happy baby. She came home and started to rage when she didn't get her way. I had to close the windows because I was afraid the neighbors would call the police. She tried to break down her bedroom door during time outs. She calmed down around age 4, put on a good face for us and the world. I wish she hadn't been so adept at hiding the damage to her soul. Now she is almost 16 y.o. and I realize that she has a huge hole in her psyche caused by those few months of emotional solitude. She needs to be in control at ALL times. She will not accept hugs, she will give them to me when I least expect them, when my hands are greasy from doing dishes, etc..and I can't reciprocate.She only hugs from the back. We can't do any thing right: " I don't want 6 oreos for school, I want 5! I only want one slice of cheese on my sandwich". She is sneaky and manipulative. She breaks our heart on a daily basis. She was a cutter for over a year and we had no clue. She ended up in a psychiatric hospital. She accused one of us of molestation. We will never be a real family again. I refuse to believe that months in an orphanage will leave no scars. She is a gorgeous blond, blue eyed girl and told me she feels revulsion when she looks in the mirror. We have worked very hard to create a loving, safe family. She actually behaves as if she resents us for having taken her out of her environment. Maybe it's survivor guilt as well as Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)? [/QUOTE]
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