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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 310428" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You have gotten some great suggestions. I would look into the Bethesda NIMH thing - they do great work.</p><p></p><p>Do not rule out a psychiatric diagnosis on the basis that he has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) or another autistic spectrum disorder. Kids can have TWO or more problems. Just having Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) does not rule out other problems. My oldest has Asperger's but with-o treatment for unipolar depression he would kill himself. It has been that serious for years. With his current treatment he is just fine. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry things are so rough. With the physical aggression you really NEED to make a safety plan. Here is where you go, what you do, here is what husband does, where he goes, here is where the other kids go and what they do. Kids should have a phone so they can call 911 if you tell them to.</p><p></p><p>Talk to the local police. Let them know you have a child with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/emotional problems and if you call he will NEED to be transferred to the local psychiatric hospital. Otherwise he could end up in juvenile detention.</p><p></p><p>Don't be so scared of the psychiatric hospital. We were on medicaid and my Aspie was 11 when he was admitted. This was not an acute care hospital. Those have a 2-5 day average stay. Wiz was there for 4 months. It worked miracles. Really got through to him. It was not as pretty as the private acute care psychiatric hospital. The games and books often were missing pieces. The cassette recorders never had batteries or headphones. We provided those things for while Wiz was there. Happily. The psychiatrist was a jerk, but once he got over "my nosiness" at wanting to be at meetings where treatment was discussed and decided, he worked well with us. It WAS a battle the first few weeks. Very few parents had any interest and fewer had any idea what they were talking about. Staff was great to us once they figured out that I was NOT the "my child would never do THAT" kind of parent. My kid WOULD do that, and take it to the nth degree past where most kids stopped.</p><p></p><p>Of all the facilities we went to for help, the psychiatric hospital was high on the list of positive experiences. HE hated it, but he also learned a LOT and was able to use what he learned.</p><p></p><p>Just make sure you are a regular face while he is in the hospital. I really think it may come to that, just from a safety standpoint. He isn't safe to have at home with this much violence.</p><p></p><p>Instead of thinking how upset he will be NOW if you put him into a hospital, think about how he will feel in a few years when he realizes all the ways he has brutalized you. How much guilt will he feel? How much will he hate himself for hurting you? What will he do with the guilt and anger (towards himself) that memories of his actions will give him? </p><p></p><p>I have nerve damage in one hand from one rage where I had to get him to focus on me rather than on my other kids. I was the only adult at home and he wanted to beat his sister bloody. I had my other kids go into my room and lock the door while I kept Wiz focused on me. </p><p></p><p>Wiz feels so horrible about hurting me that way. He will take my hand and rub it gently or get a hot pack (bag of rice sewn up and heated in the microwave) and wrap it around my hand. He even kisses it "better" - and he stopped giving kisses when he was 8. </p><p></p><p>When I put him into the psychiatric hospital, and later when I had the Sheriff remove him, a big part of the reason was that if he hurt one of us badly or killed us then he would hate himself forever and probably WOULD kill himself. I couldn't handle that, so I did what was needed to protect us ALL. It came down to that.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if you are at that point. Or if you will reach that point. But hopefully you will see hospitalizing him in something of a different light. </p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 310428, member: 1233"] You have gotten some great suggestions. I would look into the Bethesda NIMH thing - they do great work. Do not rule out a psychiatric diagnosis on the basis that he has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) or another autistic spectrum disorder. Kids can have TWO or more problems. Just having Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) does not rule out other problems. My oldest has Asperger's but with-o treatment for unipolar depression he would kill himself. It has been that serious for years. With his current treatment he is just fine. I am sorry things are so rough. With the physical aggression you really NEED to make a safety plan. Here is where you go, what you do, here is what husband does, where he goes, here is where the other kids go and what they do. Kids should have a phone so they can call 911 if you tell them to. Talk to the local police. Let them know you have a child with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/emotional problems and if you call he will NEED to be transferred to the local psychiatric hospital. Otherwise he could end up in juvenile detention. Don't be so scared of the psychiatric hospital. We were on medicaid and my Aspie was 11 when he was admitted. This was not an acute care hospital. Those have a 2-5 day average stay. Wiz was there for 4 months. It worked miracles. Really got through to him. It was not as pretty as the private acute care psychiatric hospital. The games and books often were missing pieces. The cassette recorders never had batteries or headphones. We provided those things for while Wiz was there. Happily. The psychiatrist was a jerk, but once he got over "my nosiness" at wanting to be at meetings where treatment was discussed and decided, he worked well with us. It WAS a battle the first few weeks. Very few parents had any interest and fewer had any idea what they were talking about. Staff was great to us once they figured out that I was NOT the "my child would never do THAT" kind of parent. My kid WOULD do that, and take it to the nth degree past where most kids stopped. Of all the facilities we went to for help, the psychiatric hospital was high on the list of positive experiences. HE hated it, but he also learned a LOT and was able to use what he learned. Just make sure you are a regular face while he is in the hospital. I really think it may come to that, just from a safety standpoint. He isn't safe to have at home with this much violence. Instead of thinking how upset he will be NOW if you put him into a hospital, think about how he will feel in a few years when he realizes all the ways he has brutalized you. How much guilt will he feel? How much will he hate himself for hurting you? What will he do with the guilt and anger (towards himself) that memories of his actions will give him? I have nerve damage in one hand from one rage where I had to get him to focus on me rather than on my other kids. I was the only adult at home and he wanted to beat his sister bloody. I had my other kids go into my room and lock the door while I kept Wiz focused on me. Wiz feels so horrible about hurting me that way. He will take my hand and rub it gently or get a hot pack (bag of rice sewn up and heated in the microwave) and wrap it around my hand. He even kisses it "better" - and he stopped giving kisses when he was 8. When I put him into the psychiatric hospital, and later when I had the Sheriff remove him, a big part of the reason was that if he hurt one of us badly or killed us then he would hate himself forever and probably WOULD kill himself. I couldn't handle that, so I did what was needed to protect us ALL. It came down to that. I don't know if you are at that point. Or if you will reach that point. But hopefully you will see hospitalizing him in something of a different light. Hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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