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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 310579" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>cfa3</p><p> </p><p>Hi there - first time poster to you here.....long time advocate for personal therapy. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p><p> </p><p>Brief personal history - my ex was horrible and my son was 5. I personally didn't think I had ANY issues. I stayed in an abusive marriage for 13 years. I finally got out...but had started counseling (secretly) in my 11th year of marriage and got the courage to leave him. He and his Mother took my son against my will, and I went and got my son some months later. My thoughts were if I was out of my marriage - and my son was out of the violence? The bad things would be over. Not true. </p><p> </p><p>So my son began to act out in school. (understatement) I got called almost every day from work to come get him. The school therapist recommended a psychiatric evaluation. Okay - whatever. The psyc. recommended medications. Okay - well that should fix him. Not true. Sixty five medications, thirteen placements in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s, Numerous Group homes, Five or more psychiatric hospitals, uncountable therapists, counselors, psychiatrists, and everything under the sun and moon -including taping chicken livers to my elbows and dancing in the moonlight (the Chicken Liver Dance as it were) lol....he's 19, a convicted felon and just NOW starting to show a teensy bit of maturity - BUT....he's still the same person with the same temper and same crusty attitude....and should be in therapy for anger management for the rest of his life. </p><p> </p><p>I personally was blown away and hurt, angry, sullen, growly, disagreeable, B($#*^%& when someone after my 7 years of PERSONAL therapy said - I think it would be good for you to have MORE therapy to deal with your son. I thought....ARE YOU ....(well can't type that here my tongue would fall out and I'd be banished for thinking what I wanted to type from the board for bad language) but ARE YOU KIDDING - came to mind? So....I squared myself up in the therapists chair and very matter of factly said with raised eyebrow...."OH....now the problem is me?" and the therapist said even MORE matter of factly "Well, partly...and if it is? Don't you WANT to be the best parent you can be for your son?" and it just hit me like a ton of bricks...I mean we're all vain - but this was like a slap in the face. So I went. Begrudgingly at first and then about 6 months into it - I fell in love literally with going - it was my EXHALE from the worlds ****...and I left there feeling so light and happy - and validated....and sorted. </p><p> </p><p>So yeah- it hits you like.....ME? MEEEEEEEE??? WTH? ME? I'm the one holding this ship together and now you're all pointing at ME? And yeah - YOU. Beeeeeeeecause....HIM (points to boy) takes it out (his whole world) on YOU because he has no better learned coping skills....and YOU are the only one that HE can BLOW up at for now and be safe in doing so becauzzzzzzzeeeee YOU aren't going to LEAVE him...you'll always be there. See? </p><p> </p><p>Just call it your once a week uncorking as it were......and not THERAPY FOR CRAZY MOM.....and adjust your thinking. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> YOU NEED THIS. You'll see what I mean about 6 months from now when you handle a situation in your home with logic and not yelling....it's like you turned into Harry Potter or some other magical creature and you think.....MAn am I good or what? Then THAT is worth the price of admission to all that - Uncorking sessions. (I say uncorking at first because all I ever did was wine er....whine) eventually it became where I could call it therapy....lol) </p><p> </p><p>Hugs & WElcome....</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 310579, member: 4964"] cfa3 Hi there - first time poster to you here.....long time advocate for personal therapy. :winking::raspberry-tounge: Brief personal history - my ex was horrible and my son was 5. I personally didn't think I had ANY issues. I stayed in an abusive marriage for 13 years. I finally got out...but had started counseling (secretly) in my 11th year of marriage and got the courage to leave him. He and his Mother took my son against my will, and I went and got my son some months later. My thoughts were if I was out of my marriage - and my son was out of the violence? The bad things would be over. Not true. So my son began to act out in school. (understatement) I got called almost every day from work to come get him. The school therapist recommended a psychiatric evaluation. Okay - whatever. The psyc. recommended medications. Okay - well that should fix him. Not true. Sixty five medications, thirteen placements in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s, Numerous Group homes, Five or more psychiatric hospitals, uncountable therapists, counselors, psychiatrists, and everything under the sun and moon -including taping chicken livers to my elbows and dancing in the moonlight (the Chicken Liver Dance as it were) lol....he's 19, a convicted felon and just NOW starting to show a teensy bit of maturity - BUT....he's still the same person with the same temper and same crusty attitude....and should be in therapy for anger management for the rest of his life. I personally was blown away and hurt, angry, sullen, growly, disagreeable, B($#*^%& when someone after my 7 years of PERSONAL therapy said - I think it would be good for you to have MORE therapy to deal with your son. I thought....ARE YOU ....(well can't type that here my tongue would fall out and I'd be banished for thinking what I wanted to type from the board for bad language) but ARE YOU KIDDING - came to mind? So....I squared myself up in the therapists chair and very matter of factly said with raised eyebrow...."OH....now the problem is me?" and the therapist said even MORE matter of factly "Well, partly...and if it is? Don't you WANT to be the best parent you can be for your son?" and it just hit me like a ton of bricks...I mean we're all vain - but this was like a slap in the face. So I went. Begrudgingly at first and then about 6 months into it - I fell in love literally with going - it was my EXHALE from the worlds ****...and I left there feeling so light and happy - and validated....and sorted. So yeah- it hits you like.....ME? MEEEEEEEE??? WTH? ME? I'm the one holding this ship together and now you're all pointing at ME? And yeah - YOU. Beeeeeeeecause....HIM (points to boy) takes it out (his whole world) on YOU because he has no better learned coping skills....and YOU are the only one that HE can BLOW up at for now and be safe in doing so becauzzzzzzzeeeee YOU aren't going to LEAVE him...you'll always be there. See? Just call it your once a week uncorking as it were......and not THERAPY FOR CRAZY MOM.....and adjust your thinking. :winking: YOU NEED THIS. You'll see what I mean about 6 months from now when you handle a situation in your home with logic and not yelling....it's like you turned into Harry Potter or some other magical creature and you think.....MAn am I good or what? Then THAT is worth the price of admission to all that - Uncorking sessions. (I say uncorking at first because all I ever did was wine er....whine) eventually it became where I could call it therapy....lol) Hugs & WElcome.... Star [/QUOTE]
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