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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 448874" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>I would not in any way support an adult who is disrespectful and not following your house rules as he lives there. This is hard to do. But, at the very least you and husband need to sit down, write out the house rules if he is going to live there (including not running around on work nights), and I would add random drug tests. It is your home. He needs to pay you something each month and do chores. My 23 year old is a great kid who lives at home. When he hit 18, the rent started. Unless he was in school, he had to pay. He is a sober kid, but we did tell him there would be no drunkeness in our home (you never know when they will try). We want to know when he will be home, no overnight guests, and he will attend Sunday dinner and do chores. The only way they grow up and leave is if they are motivated and trained to do so. I understand not wanting him out-19 year old boys can be very immature. I didn't want ours gone either. But no way was he going to get the message that he didn't have to grow up. The approach has worked for him. </p><p></p><p>If he pitches a fit-let him go. You do not have the power to stop him if he decides to go down this slippery path. Honestly that power went away a few years ago. Keep telling him you love him and have faith he will figure out how to pay his cell,gas and rent. If not it will be harder to figure out in the real world.</p><p></p><p>This is tough. Hugs to you and take care of your self.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 448874, member: 11001"] I would not in any way support an adult who is disrespectful and not following your house rules as he lives there. This is hard to do. But, at the very least you and husband need to sit down, write out the house rules if he is going to live there (including not running around on work nights), and I would add random drug tests. It is your home. He needs to pay you something each month and do chores. My 23 year old is a great kid who lives at home. When he hit 18, the rent started. Unless he was in school, he had to pay. He is a sober kid, but we did tell him there would be no drunkeness in our home (you never know when they will try). We want to know when he will be home, no overnight guests, and he will attend Sunday dinner and do chores. The only way they grow up and leave is if they are motivated and trained to do so. I understand not wanting him out-19 year old boys can be very immature. I didn't want ours gone either. But no way was he going to get the message that he didn't have to grow up. The approach has worked for him. If he pitches a fit-let him go. You do not have the power to stop him if he decides to go down this slippery path. Honestly that power went away a few years ago. Keep telling him you love him and have faith he will figure out how to pay his cell,gas and rent. If not it will be harder to figure out in the real world. This is tough. Hugs to you and take care of your self. [/QUOTE]
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