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<blockquote data-quote="Zardo" data-source="post: 448989" data-attributes="member: 12490"><p>I'm new too and I'm so sorry for your situation. Before I say my advice, I want to tell you that my osn is 15. I tell you that becauase sometimes the answers seem so easy from people that have not been there, so I need to let you know that while I have an opinion, I have walked close to your shoes, but not completely. Having said that.....I do think it's time for him to move out on his own, get his own car, phone, etc. He has chosen a life path right now that would be impossible to support inside your home. You can tell him how much you love him and you can tell him ways in which you will continue to support him, ie. paying for councelsing or medications, etc, but that you cannot live peacefully in your house seeing his choices every day. "I love you and we are here for you. We will support all positive choices that you make, but cannot live with the stress of watching the negative choices youa are making" should be the message. It seems like you fear him getting in trouble, maybe a DUI or possession incident? Sometimes, it's these things that inspire change. For me, our biggest action moment this year was when our son got arrested and expelled form school for posession. Our problems are far from over, but there is no hiding or denying any more and he has put himself into his current situation as opposed to us forcing things upon him. You have already warned him and told him where this behavior will lead. As many kids like this do, he thinks you're the idiot - time to let him find out on his own so that he can pull himself up. </p><p></p><p>I hope that helps. Stay strong and protect your boundaries.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zardo, post: 448989, member: 12490"] I'm new too and I'm so sorry for your situation. Before I say my advice, I want to tell you that my osn is 15. I tell you that becauase sometimes the answers seem so easy from people that have not been there, so I need to let you know that while I have an opinion, I have walked close to your shoes, but not completely. Having said that.....I do think it's time for him to move out on his own, get his own car, phone, etc. He has chosen a life path right now that would be impossible to support inside your home. You can tell him how much you love him and you can tell him ways in which you will continue to support him, ie. paying for councelsing or medications, etc, but that you cannot live peacefully in your house seeing his choices every day. "I love you and we are here for you. We will support all positive choices that you make, but cannot live with the stress of watching the negative choices youa are making" should be the message. It seems like you fear him getting in trouble, maybe a DUI or possession incident? Sometimes, it's these things that inspire change. For me, our biggest action moment this year was when our son got arrested and expelled form school for posession. Our problems are far from over, but there is no hiding or denying any more and he has put himself into his current situation as opposed to us forcing things upon him. You have already warned him and told him where this behavior will lead. As many kids like this do, he thinks you're the idiot - time to let him find out on his own so that he can pull himself up. I hope that helps. Stay strong and protect your boundaries. [/QUOTE]
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