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Need Help/suggestions/support: Child with- ODD, ADHD, history of sexual abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="JJJ" data-source="post: 451847" data-attributes="member: 1169"><p>Chococat,</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the board. I'm sorry you needed to find us. My daughter (Kanga) was also sexually abused prior to kindergarten and was/is dangerous to the other children. Some advice from the trenches:</p><p></p><p>1. She should <u><strong>never</strong></u> be left alone with other children. This includes playing outside. And absolutely no sleepovers. This is not a punishment, it is a safety measure. </p><p></p><p>2. While step-mom may have been threatened with 'failure to protect', it will be dad who needs to decide how he wants to manage his relationship with his daughter. If your mom lives near him and she has no other children in her home, maybe your daughter can stay with her and dad can pick her up each day when they can focus on supervising her directly (eye-sight supervision 100% of the time). </p><p></p><p>3. Don't bother calling CPS unless (a) it is an adult or older teen abusing a child (b) it is your last hope to get services. In most places, they are useless in dealing with difficult child-children, they are 'trained' to deal with difficult child-parents. </p><p></p><p>4. Find a therapist who specializes (check them out carefully) in childhood sexual abuse. Find out which type of therapy they will be using with her (EMDT, CBT, DBT, etc). </p><p></p><p>5. Let your daughter know that what happened to her when she was little was not her fault. Also let her know that trying to smother her sister and touching her in a sexual way is completely unacceptable and that any future incidents of her doing that will result in the same punishment as if she hit them. </p><p></p><p>6. Ask the psychiatrist to review her medications, while not giving her the Clonodine consistently probably contributed to the lack of impulse control, there may be a better medication for her and the psychiatrist needs to be given all of the info about the summer so that he/she can decide. </p><p></p><p>7. Look in a mirror and tell yourself that this is not your fault. You did not abuse her. You did not allow abuse to continue with your knowledge. It is normal to allow children to play together. It is normal for children, despite the best lessons on good touch/bad touch, to not tell when something like this happens. </p><p></p><p>8. Stick around here. I've been here 10 years and this board has supported me through more crisis than I care to remember.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JJJ, post: 451847, member: 1169"] Chococat, Welcome to the board. I'm sorry you needed to find us. My daughter (Kanga) was also sexually abused prior to kindergarten and was/is dangerous to the other children. Some advice from the trenches: 1. She should [U][B]never[/B][/U] be left alone with other children. This includes playing outside. And absolutely no sleepovers. This is not a punishment, it is a safety measure. 2. While step-mom may have been threatened with 'failure to protect', it will be dad who needs to decide how he wants to manage his relationship with his daughter. If your mom lives near him and she has no other children in her home, maybe your daughter can stay with her and dad can pick her up each day when they can focus on supervising her directly (eye-sight supervision 100% of the time). 3. Don't bother calling CPS unless (a) it is an adult or older teen abusing a child (b) it is your last hope to get services. In most places, they are useless in dealing with difficult child-children, they are 'trained' to deal with difficult child-parents. 4. Find a therapist who specializes (check them out carefully) in childhood sexual abuse. Find out which type of therapy they will be using with her (EMDT, CBT, DBT, etc). 5. Let your daughter know that what happened to her when she was little was not her fault. Also let her know that trying to smother her sister and touching her in a sexual way is completely unacceptable and that any future incidents of her doing that will result in the same punishment as if she hit them. 6. Ask the psychiatrist to review her medications, while not giving her the Clonodine consistently probably contributed to the lack of impulse control, there may be a better medication for her and the psychiatrist needs to be given all of the info about the summer so that he/she can decide. 7. Look in a mirror and tell yourself that this is not your fault. You did not abuse her. You did not allow abuse to continue with your knowledge. It is normal to allow children to play together. It is normal for children, despite the best lessons on good touch/bad touch, to not tell when something like this happens. 8. Stick around here. I've been here 10 years and this board has supported me through more crisis than I care to remember. [/QUOTE]
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Need Help/suggestions/support: Child with- ODD, ADHD, history of sexual abuse
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