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Need help to cope if he gets 15 yeard jail
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 143085" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Star,</p><p> </p><p>My situation was not nearly as threatening as yours; however, it all just made me sick.</p><p> </p><p>easy child 1 and difficult child 1, along with nephew (18) and another friend (17) were leaning on a truck bed behind the legion hall 15 minutes into our wedding reception. They each had a red dixie cup of punch and the remnants of their dinners on a plastic plate. It was a gorgeous evening and they were just visiting.</p><p> </p><p>At a wedding the prior weekend, an intoxicated dancer spilled their beer on easy child 1. The only other clothes we had were husband's swim shorts. So easy child 1 danced the night away in a plaid button down shirt, hawaiian shorts, and cowboy boots. So for our reception, easy child 1, difficult child 1, and nephew all donned said attire - flowery shorts, boots, and their tuxedo vests and ties without shirts.</p><p> </p><p>As luck would have it, the town festival was the same night as our wedding. Two police officers came meandering along on their way back to the station, saw the 3 boys there holding their dixie cups and dressed wild, and walked over. difficult child 1, for whatever reason (always had an aversion to police thanks to his bio mom), dropped his cup in the truck bed and headed inside.</p><p> </p><p>The cops called him back.</p><p> </p><p>They never even picked up his cup. The did not take breath tests or any other form of test to check any of them for alcohol consumption. They did not take any of their red dixie cups of punch. Yet they charged them all with possession.</p><p> </p><p>Granted, they weren't facing jail for this, but they lost their college scholarships because of it. difficult child was suspended from his sports teams and was not allowed to get his drivers license. Their names were mud in a small town.</p><p> </p><p>I cried. I was sick - literally sick to my stomache - how was I going to pay for their colleges OR a lawyer to get their scholarships back? How were they going to take this - especially difficult child, who, tho barely, had avoided any serious trouble? Suddenly, his attitude became "to heck with it - I get in trouble for doing even the right thing, so why bother just doing what's right?" It lead to a few real instances of trouble, some large vandalism cases. Was this stupid rookie female cop's attempt to prove what a good crime fighter she was going to cost my difficult child his chance at actually beating the odds and making it? OMG, I was furious.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, the charges were all dropped based on lack of evidence and a nice note from a good lawyer stating such. But that took several months of worry. I'm not sure how I proceeded those first few days. I know I spent every waking moment online looking up the supposed crime and punishments, finding worst case scenarios and other similar cases tried with positive outcomes to hand to their lawyer in hopes that they could utilize the same methods of instilling doubt. I found several cases where cops had arrested people with open cans of beer, but they didn't confiscate and test the beer, so they couldn't prove that the contents in the can was alcoholic...surely this could help boys holding red dixie cups of punch.</p><p> </p><p>As the days passed, things just got easier, the focus fell less on the charges and more on the fact that we all still had a life to live until this played out, however that may be. In the end, it turned out ok. All charges were dropped.</p><p> </p><p>I can't promise you that it will work out the way you want it, but I can promise you that it will come to pass. In time, you will worry about things other than this. Beleive that time will help. Just tell yourself that for now, even if you don't really beleive it. </p><p> </p><p>Sorry so long winded. Not really the same, but kinda. Hugs and strength and soda crackers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 143085, member: 1848"] Star, My situation was not nearly as threatening as yours; however, it all just made me sick. easy child 1 and difficult child 1, along with nephew (18) and another friend (17) were leaning on a truck bed behind the legion hall 15 minutes into our wedding reception. They each had a red dixie cup of punch and the remnants of their dinners on a plastic plate. It was a gorgeous evening and they were just visiting. At a wedding the prior weekend, an intoxicated dancer spilled their beer on easy child 1. The only other clothes we had were husband's swim shorts. So easy child 1 danced the night away in a plaid button down shirt, hawaiian shorts, and cowboy boots. So for our reception, easy child 1, difficult child 1, and nephew all donned said attire - flowery shorts, boots, and their tuxedo vests and ties without shirts. As luck would have it, the town festival was the same night as our wedding. Two police officers came meandering along on their way back to the station, saw the 3 boys there holding their dixie cups and dressed wild, and walked over. difficult child 1, for whatever reason (always had an aversion to police thanks to his bio mom), dropped his cup in the truck bed and headed inside. The cops called him back. They never even picked up his cup. The did not take breath tests or any other form of test to check any of them for alcohol consumption. They did not take any of their red dixie cups of punch. Yet they charged them all with possession. Granted, they weren't facing jail for this, but they lost their college scholarships because of it. difficult child was suspended from his sports teams and was not allowed to get his drivers license. Their names were mud in a small town. I cried. I was sick - literally sick to my stomache - how was I going to pay for their colleges OR a lawyer to get their scholarships back? How were they going to take this - especially difficult child, who, tho barely, had avoided any serious trouble? Suddenly, his attitude became "to heck with it - I get in trouble for doing even the right thing, so why bother just doing what's right?" It lead to a few real instances of trouble, some large vandalism cases. Was this stupid rookie female cop's attempt to prove what a good crime fighter she was going to cost my difficult child his chance at actually beating the odds and making it? OMG, I was furious. Eventually, the charges were all dropped based on lack of evidence and a nice note from a good lawyer stating such. But that took several months of worry. I'm not sure how I proceeded those first few days. I know I spent every waking moment online looking up the supposed crime and punishments, finding worst case scenarios and other similar cases tried with positive outcomes to hand to their lawyer in hopes that they could utilize the same methods of instilling doubt. I found several cases where cops had arrested people with open cans of beer, but they didn't confiscate and test the beer, so they couldn't prove that the contents in the can was alcoholic...surely this could help boys holding red dixie cups of punch. As the days passed, things just got easier, the focus fell less on the charges and more on the fact that we all still had a life to live until this played out, however that may be. In the end, it turned out ok. All charges were dropped. I can't promise you that it will work out the way you want it, but I can promise you that it will come to pass. In time, you will worry about things other than this. Beleive that time will help. Just tell yourself that for now, even if you don't really beleive it. Sorry so long winded. Not really the same, but kinda. Hugs and strength and soda crackers. [/QUOTE]
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Need help to cope if he gets 15 yeard jail
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