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Need help with plan B (Ross Greene)!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 397191" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I have a few different thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>First, it can take several weeks to come off the SSRI. Depending on which one he was on, the withdrawal can be brutal. Really, truly brutal. Irritability is a major problem during withdrawal. From personal experience, effexor is the WORST with this, and lexapro can be very bad also. Many of the newer ssri medications come out of the body fairly quickly but it takes the body much longer to settle back into normalcy. If withdrawal is a problem for him he may not be in control of himself for several more weeks. This may be the reason for the unprovoked hitting - difficult child may not even realize he is going to hit someone until it happens. Or it could be due to something else. </p><p> </p><p>When the silliness is ramping up usually the decibel level ramps up. If you very quietly, under your breath, whisper "shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" it can calm this with-o anyone realizing what you are doing. One of my college profs actually did an experiment in class one day with this. I use it with my husband, kids, parents, gfgbro, and even strangers in movies (LOL). They almost never consciously realize that I am making any noise at all but they still lower their volume. I find that as the volume becomes more controlled the silliness decreases also.</p><p> </p><p>As the kids ramp up, or as difficult child starts to get out of control, avoid telling them/him to stop. Instead call one of the kids over to you and ask them to do something for you that would take them out of the situation/discussion/brouhaha. "difficult child, please come take out the trash now" or "Please take this laundry to your room and put it away" or something similar. You will hear "I wasn't doing anything", "He did it" and other irrelevant statements. Don't be drawn into an argument. Instead say "I didn't say you did", "Okay, but please put it away now", etc... It redirects them into some other task and can defuse the situation with-o you having to play referee. You don't even need to always call difficult child. even if difficult child is escalating, calling easy child away to do something else may be enough to change the dynamic and avoid the drama.</p><p> </p><p>Consider giving the kids laps. make them run around the house X times, or go up and down the stairs several times. Some form of exercise that diverts their attention and gives them a physical outlet. Depending on where you live, give him a shovel and have him go shovel snow off sidewalks or dig up a garden for X minutes/Y shovels full, etc... If no garden, have him dig a hole and then have him fill it up. He doesn't have to dig the hole all at once, or fill it in all at once. Or have him scrub the bathtub with comet or baking soda. (If you want to let him have some fun while he scrubs the tub have him use baking soda and enough water to make it scrub. Then give him some vinegar (measured amount) to pour around. He will work out the energy, enjoy seeing it fizz when he pours the vinegar on (then have him rinse it with water - diluting the vinegar will dilute the fizzing and rinsing the entire tub with vinegar could get expensive!), and you get a clean bathtub!!</p><p> </p><p>Getting his attention when he is escalating is one of the major hurdles to helping him learn to control his impulses. Years ago I could NOT get Wiz (or Jess because she followed his example) to pay attention to much of anything I said. I started saying something like "chocolate pudding" or "chocolate chip cookies" in a fairly forceful voice when I wanted their attention. It worked like a CHARM! Literally like magic. I would say it, they would stop - often mid word - and then I could say what I wanted them to hear. When they asked why I was saying that first I told them that I was thinking about it. After a few times they figures out that they were most likely NOT going to get the treat but it did NOT stop working. About 1 time ever week or three I would actually give them the item when I first started using this. NOT on a regular basis, but it was still enough of a reward to let this work for several years. If your difficult children do not like chocolate, say some favorite dessert or food they get rarely but LOVE. This did NOT stop working when he was a teen. If anything the teen boy stomach made it more effective.</p><p> </p><p>As for the school, he may need an all day sp ed program where they work with him on his level for each subject ANd help him learn and learn to use coping skills and appropriate social skills. Wiz was in a separate sp ed class for all of 5th grade. It was excellent. They brought in high school and college texts for subjects he needed that level of challenge, other students got lessons on remedial levels, and they ALL got a LOT of help with social skills, manners, and any/every other issue they needed help with. IF your school can offer this with a really great teacher and enough aides to make it work well, go for it. You also may want to look at other schools and programs in your state. </p><p> </p><p>Be sure that they evaluate him for assistive technology. Wiz used an alphasmart (laptop designed for use in schools by kids - super durable, no games, no ability to load games or anything else) for several years and it really helped cut down his frustration at school, and that led to fewer outbursts. He took notes on it, did assignments on it (even math), etc... I don't know what the newer ones are like, but thank you is supposed to get one in Jan or Feb. The name may have changed but if you google "alphasmart" you will be able to find the current models available.</p><p> </p><p>I hope this helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 397191, member: 1233"] I have a few different thoughts. First, it can take several weeks to come off the SSRI. Depending on which one he was on, the withdrawal can be brutal. Really, truly brutal. Irritability is a major problem during withdrawal. From personal experience, effexor is the WORST with this, and lexapro can be very bad also. Many of the newer ssri medications come out of the body fairly quickly but it takes the body much longer to settle back into normalcy. If withdrawal is a problem for him he may not be in control of himself for several more weeks. This may be the reason for the unprovoked hitting - difficult child may not even realize he is going to hit someone until it happens. Or it could be due to something else. When the silliness is ramping up usually the decibel level ramps up. If you very quietly, under your breath, whisper "shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" it can calm this with-o anyone realizing what you are doing. One of my college profs actually did an experiment in class one day with this. I use it with my husband, kids, parents, gfgbro, and even strangers in movies (LOL). They almost never consciously realize that I am making any noise at all but they still lower their volume. I find that as the volume becomes more controlled the silliness decreases also. As the kids ramp up, or as difficult child starts to get out of control, avoid telling them/him to stop. Instead call one of the kids over to you and ask them to do something for you that would take them out of the situation/discussion/brouhaha. "difficult child, please come take out the trash now" or "Please take this laundry to your room and put it away" or something similar. You will hear "I wasn't doing anything", "He did it" and other irrelevant statements. Don't be drawn into an argument. Instead say "I didn't say you did", "Okay, but please put it away now", etc... It redirects them into some other task and can defuse the situation with-o you having to play referee. You don't even need to always call difficult child. even if difficult child is escalating, calling easy child away to do something else may be enough to change the dynamic and avoid the drama. Consider giving the kids laps. make them run around the house X times, or go up and down the stairs several times. Some form of exercise that diverts their attention and gives them a physical outlet. Depending on where you live, give him a shovel and have him go shovel snow off sidewalks or dig up a garden for X minutes/Y shovels full, etc... If no garden, have him dig a hole and then have him fill it up. He doesn't have to dig the hole all at once, or fill it in all at once. Or have him scrub the bathtub with comet or baking soda. (If you want to let him have some fun while he scrubs the tub have him use baking soda and enough water to make it scrub. Then give him some vinegar (measured amount) to pour around. He will work out the energy, enjoy seeing it fizz when he pours the vinegar on (then have him rinse it with water - diluting the vinegar will dilute the fizzing and rinsing the entire tub with vinegar could get expensive!), and you get a clean bathtub!! Getting his attention when he is escalating is one of the major hurdles to helping him learn to control his impulses. Years ago I could NOT get Wiz (or Jess because she followed his example) to pay attention to much of anything I said. I started saying something like "chocolate pudding" or "chocolate chip cookies" in a fairly forceful voice when I wanted their attention. It worked like a CHARM! Literally like magic. I would say it, they would stop - often mid word - and then I could say what I wanted them to hear. When they asked why I was saying that first I told them that I was thinking about it. After a few times they figures out that they were most likely NOT going to get the treat but it did NOT stop working. About 1 time ever week or three I would actually give them the item when I first started using this. NOT on a regular basis, but it was still enough of a reward to let this work for several years. If your difficult children do not like chocolate, say some favorite dessert or food they get rarely but LOVE. This did NOT stop working when he was a teen. If anything the teen boy stomach made it more effective. As for the school, he may need an all day sp ed program where they work with him on his level for each subject ANd help him learn and learn to use coping skills and appropriate social skills. Wiz was in a separate sp ed class for all of 5th grade. It was excellent. They brought in high school and college texts for subjects he needed that level of challenge, other students got lessons on remedial levels, and they ALL got a LOT of help with social skills, manners, and any/every other issue they needed help with. IF your school can offer this with a really great teacher and enough aides to make it work well, go for it. You also may want to look at other schools and programs in your state. Be sure that they evaluate him for assistive technology. Wiz used an alphasmart (laptop designed for use in schools by kids - super durable, no games, no ability to load games or anything else) for several years and it really helped cut down his frustration at school, and that led to fewer outbursts. He took notes on it, did assignments on it (even math), etc... I don't know what the newer ones are like, but thank you is supposed to get one in Jan or Feb. The name may have changed but if you google "alphasmart" you will be able to find the current models available. I hope this helps. [/QUOTE]
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