Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Need help with plan B (Ross Greene)!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 397292" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>You can't teach impulse control. That is what is wrong with so much discipline, especially from schools. difficult child 3 had the district Behaviour Team involved with him, trying to teach him how to manage. He could quote the rules, but when stirred up he would just react and then have to face the consequences. He always knew afterwards what he had done wrong, but in the heat of the moment he could never stop himself. No amount of punishment, or positive motivation, could help him DO the right thing in the heat of the moment. We have had to wait for his brain to be mature enough to put the brakes on. ADHD medications can help with this, but you can't teach it if the brain just is not ready.</p><p></p><p>Punishing a kid who knows its wrong but who can't stop himself, is like punishing a kid for who he is. It will send him that message and you will undermine a lot of positive progress as well as a lot of self-esteem.</p><p></p><p>If a kid is simply not fully able to cope, then you need to protect him from the risks he will face, in the same way you protect a toddler from falling down the stairs.</p><p></p><p>Splinter skills are seen as a hallmark of autism (in its various forms) but you can get it in other disorders too. Just because your child is so smart in some areas, so capable in some things, does not mean he is equally capable in all areas. If you identify a problem area, don't push him too hard to succeed there; instead, lead him, support him, assist him but don't throw him in the deep end unsupported, unless you're willing to diver in and rescue him when he starts going under for the third time. It works better to give him swimming lessons, but first make sure he is physically capable of swimming. There can be so many reasons for a kid to have difficulty learning to swim.</p><p></p><p>Maybe that's where your problem lies right now - your expectations are setting him, and you, up for failure. </p><p></p><p>Also other siblings complicate the picture After a while they get used to conflict and seem to generate it if it is missing. You may need to use Explosive Child methods on both boys. It's OK to use the methods on PCs too. In fact, it might make your life easier.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 397292, member: 1991"] You can't teach impulse control. That is what is wrong with so much discipline, especially from schools. difficult child 3 had the district Behaviour Team involved with him, trying to teach him how to manage. He could quote the rules, but when stirred up he would just react and then have to face the consequences. He always knew afterwards what he had done wrong, but in the heat of the moment he could never stop himself. No amount of punishment, or positive motivation, could help him DO the right thing in the heat of the moment. We have had to wait for his brain to be mature enough to put the brakes on. ADHD medications can help with this, but you can't teach it if the brain just is not ready. Punishing a kid who knows its wrong but who can't stop himself, is like punishing a kid for who he is. It will send him that message and you will undermine a lot of positive progress as well as a lot of self-esteem. If a kid is simply not fully able to cope, then you need to protect him from the risks he will face, in the same way you protect a toddler from falling down the stairs. Splinter skills are seen as a hallmark of autism (in its various forms) but you can get it in other disorders too. Just because your child is so smart in some areas, so capable in some things, does not mean he is equally capable in all areas. If you identify a problem area, don't push him too hard to succeed there; instead, lead him, support him, assist him but don't throw him in the deep end unsupported, unless you're willing to diver in and rescue him when he starts going under for the third time. It works better to give him swimming lessons, but first make sure he is physically capable of swimming. There can be so many reasons for a kid to have difficulty learning to swim. Maybe that's where your problem lies right now - your expectations are setting him, and you, up for failure. Also other siblings complicate the picture After a while they get used to conflict and seem to generate it if it is missing. You may need to use Explosive Child methods on both boys. It's OK to use the methods on PCs too. In fact, it might make your life easier. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Need help with plan B (Ross Greene)!
Top