I hate to mention this, but none of the above is an FBA. In an FBA, each behavioral problem/incident is analyzed for the immediate antecedent condition, the hypothesized function of the behavior for the child and the current outcome.
E.g., difficult child gets to school without school bag; (antecedent) difficult child has meltdown (behavior); difficult child is unable to control acting out when frustrated and needs to reduce tension (hypothesized function); therefore, cannot attend party (current consequence).
The above comes off your example but not exactly. It shows why all their comments about your work schedule, etc. are purely biased and what they are doing is not an FBA at all. The only way a parent can be a part of an FBA is if the parent is at the school, i.e., school refusing child is clinging to her mother and crying in the hallway. Otherwise, FBAs are not about parents.
What is then done with an FBA depends upon the point of intervention, i.e., difficult child could always bring her school bag. However, even is she does that, frustration happens, so when difficult child is frustrated, the goal would be to discharge tension without having a meltdown. That means difficult child needs a REPLACEMENT BEHAVIOR for the meltdown which would then be positively reinforced (instead of the old behavior being punished.) This is PBS (Positive Behavioral Support)
I do not always agree with behavioral approaches, but at least I know how to set them up competently, which is more than can be said for the personnel involved here.
I know this is very hard advice to swallow, but try to stop defending yourself. Simply say--I get home at 5:30 and let it go. If they make a "plan" based on some other time, then they are working with faulty data. Correct their data but do not defend yourself. Also, keep saying to them, "this is not about me, it about helping difficult child do ______"
Martie
