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Need ideas for where my 19 yr old daughter can get help
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 325265" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Well, I probably am a bit pessimistic and cynical but I sent my 16 yr old to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to the tune of $50,000 and while she was there she did very well but reverted back to her old ways and worse after being back home for a week or two. She was at this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for nearly 9 months. Then she was in a 28 day program and did well there but same thing, reverted back to her old ways when released. She then was court ordered to a dual diagnosis facility and again did very well but reverted once again after she left.</p><p></p><p>You see, these were all places she was sent to--we wanted to help her. She was not choosing to go although she didn't put up resistance. But, she was not the one who wanted to get better, we wanted it for her. And so it couldn't possibly work.</p><p></p><p>She is now 21 and has been on her own for 3 years. I don't know how much she has changed but she has proved that she is much more self sufficient than we thought. I thought she was naive (though street smart), vulnerable, basically pretty helpless. She has shown me that she can take care of herself somehow. I don't know the details of her life because she lives across the country from me but I do know she manages to land on her feet. She has been homeless, lived with an abusive boyfriend, has a baby boy who is 1 yr old and she works as a stripper. So while it is not the life I wanted for her it is the life she has chosen and I've been able to accept that and detach from the whole thing. We have a very pleasant relationship now, believe it or not!</p><p></p><p>Probably others will have a more optimistic view than me, it's just been my experience that if the difficult child does not want help then nothing you do will help.</p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 325265, member: 3450"] Well, I probably am a bit pessimistic and cynical but I sent my 16 yr old to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to the tune of $50,000 and while she was there she did very well but reverted back to her old ways and worse after being back home for a week or two. She was at this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for nearly 9 months. Then she was in a 28 day program and did well there but same thing, reverted back to her old ways when released. She then was court ordered to a dual diagnosis facility and again did very well but reverted once again after she left. You see, these were all places she was sent to--we wanted to help her. She was not choosing to go although she didn't put up resistance. But, she was not the one who wanted to get better, we wanted it for her. And so it couldn't possibly work. She is now 21 and has been on her own for 3 years. I don't know how much she has changed but she has proved that she is much more self sufficient than we thought. I thought she was naive (though street smart), vulnerable, basically pretty helpless. She has shown me that she can take care of herself somehow. I don't know the details of her life because she lives across the country from me but I do know she manages to land on her feet. She has been homeless, lived with an abusive boyfriend, has a baby boy who is 1 yr old and she works as a stripper. So while it is not the life I wanted for her it is the life she has chosen and I've been able to accept that and detach from the whole thing. We have a very pleasant relationship now, believe it or not! Probably others will have a more optimistic view than me, it's just been my experience that if the difficult child does not want help then nothing you do will help. Jane [/QUOTE]
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