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Need opinions on difficult child's using the internet
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 345169" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>You snuck in on me, Janet!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>We've been there for 4 years. LOL! And I won't even begin to tell you how setting boundaries on that one time and time again (different boundaries, ways of earning trust, punishments, etc) played out. </p><p></p><p>Janet is right, EB- she's heard about our "goings-on" for the past 3 years. My son has been good about trying to work out terms that we really did need to cover (although we aren't completely finished with this yet), but now I think he's pushing that a little further and it's becoming "can I get mom to give in on this or that" and I think a lot of it is that he feels like he has a few friends in Department of Juvenile Justice that he's getting ready to leave and he is going by their ideas and what they might have been allowed to do and how he might be able to maintain contact once they are released, too. He has always felt like he didn't fit in with other kids so now he's taking the word of these boys in Department of Juvenile Justice about how to. I've tried to tell him this is not a good idea but he won't listen because I'm a mom, not a peer. This is another reason (not the only one) that I think getting thru his transition period before I consider cell phone, computer, etc is a good idea- hopefully he'll be focusing more on mainstream friends a few months down the road, not those stuck in the revolving door. I know I can't make that choice for him but I can encourage it and set limits that increase those chances, not decrease them.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I'll let you know how this conversation goes later today!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 345169, member: 3699"] You snuck in on me, Janet! We've been there for 4 years. LOL! And I won't even begin to tell you how setting boundaries on that one time and time again (different boundaries, ways of earning trust, punishments, etc) played out. Janet is right, EB- she's heard about our "goings-on" for the past 3 years. My son has been good about trying to work out terms that we really did need to cover (although we aren't completely finished with this yet), but now I think he's pushing that a little further and it's becoming "can I get mom to give in on this or that" and I think a lot of it is that he feels like he has a few friends in Department of Juvenile Justice that he's getting ready to leave and he is going by their ideas and what they might have been allowed to do and how he might be able to maintain contact once they are released, too. He has always felt like he didn't fit in with other kids so now he's taking the word of these boys in Department of Juvenile Justice about how to. I've tried to tell him this is not a good idea but he won't listen because I'm a mom, not a peer. This is another reason (not the only one) that I think getting thru his transition period before I consider cell phone, computer, etc is a good idea- hopefully he'll be focusing more on mainstream friends a few months down the road, not those stuck in the revolving door. I know I can't make that choice for him but I can encourage it and set limits that increase those chances, not decrease them. I'll let you know how this conversation goes later today! [/QUOTE]
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